Heartbeat
by piratewench78
Summary: Missing scenes throughout Season 4.
1. Chapter 1

Rayna's heart was breaking as she followed her girls out of the jail. She'd wanted to help Daphne and she'd thought that seeing Teddy would do that. She really hadn't expected him to essentially tell her that he was guilty of what he'd been accused of. A part of her was furious with her ex-husband. That had gone very poorly and, if anything, it had made it worse. Just before they exited the room, she'd looked back and glared at Teddy. To his credit, he'd looked contrite and lowered his head. But she had no time for him at this moment; it was her girls she was worried about.

Daphne got in the back seat and stared out the window, her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes red. Instead of getting in the front, Maddie got in on the other side and slid over to put her arms around her sister. Just this once, Rayna decided not to make a big deal out of the fact that Maddie didn't have her seatbelt on. Daphne didn't move, but she could see that her younger daughter had relaxed a bit in Maddie's arms. She knew Maddie hadn't wanted to go, had said defiantly over and over that she had no interest in going, and she'd certainly showed that, basically ignoring her father.

Maybe she should have expected that. Maddie had shown little interest in Teddy's predicament, focusing all her attention on Deacon. More often than not, she'd find Maddie curled up under Deacon's arm as they sat on the couch, watching TV, or in the music room, while Maddie played her guitar and sang as Deacon gave her feedback. Rayna herself had focused most of her attention on Deacon's recovery and supporting him in the aftermath of Beverly's situation. She felt like she'd missed the clues she should have seen regarding how Daphne was dealing with Teddy's imprisonment. She'd been so shocked when the school had called her to tell her Daphne had hit one of her classmates. That was so not like her happy-go-lucky youngest and her heart had hurt for her daughter's obvious pain and confusion.

As they drove home, Rayna periodically peered at the girls in the rear view mirror. Maddie was gently rubbing Daphne's arm and Daphne had finally leaned back a little against her sister's shoulder. Rayna knew Maddie was angry. She hadn't wanted to go at all and she could see her turmoil as she'd watched Daphne's meltdown. Rayna hated to see Daphne's heart broken over all this. She had no idea how to fix it.

When they got home, the girls ran upstairs. She started to go after them, but she thought they probably needed a little space. She sat at the kitchen island and pulled out her phone to call Deacon. The call went to voice mail and she just left a brief message. She guessed he was still at the hospital with Scarlett. She sighed deeply. Too many bad things were happening all at once. She'd hated leaving him, with Beverly's fate in the balance. When she'd had to leave the hospital, the doctors were in with Beverly, checking to see what had happened.

Her phone vibrated. It was Deacon. "Hey, babe," she answered. "How's Beverly?"

* * *

She sat with her arms around her waist, feeling like she'd been kicked in the gut. She had no idea, in that moment, how she was going to be able to take care of her daughters and Deacon at the same time. She could hardly understand him as he tried telling her what was happening with Beverly. His emotions were all over the map and he struggled not to break down completely as he told her what the doctors had told him and Scarlett. He was frantic to try to keep Scarlett from taking Beverly off life support and he kept repeating over and over that there was still a chance.

When she'd hung up the phone, she'd leaned on her elbows, rubbing her temples with her fingers. She took several deep breaths, trying to focus her thoughts on what to do next. She knew he felt guilty and she knew he would have trouble letting Beverly go and she wasn't sure how to help him accept that it was time. He wasn't good at this kind of thing. Never had been and still wasn't. _When things get tough, you just step away._ She had to help him see that he couldn't do that this time.

She also had to deal with the fallout from the visit with Teddy. As she tried to prioritize in her mind how to handle these two traumatic events in the lives of the people she loved most, she realized that first she needed to make sure her girls were taken care of. At least Deacon had Scarlett, even though it seemed they were not in complete agreement on the next steps with Beverly. The only person her girls had was her, and she needed to help them figure out how to navigate this. _Why did this have to happen all at once?_ She closed her eyes and silently prayed for strength.

She sighed and pushed herself up on the counter and stepped off the stool. Then she headed up the stairs.

* * *

As she walked down the hall, she didn't hear any voices, just faint noises she couldn't place. As she came up on Daphne's room, she saw the girls standing over a table, intent on something. Until she walked up on them, she didn't realize what they were doing, but then she saw that they were ripping up paper. She frowned. "What are you two…." Then she realized they were tearing up pictures. "What are you doing?" she cried. "You can't just go and rip up our scrapbooks. This is…this is our family. This is our history!" She felt sick to her stomach and tears came to her eyes. The girls looked uncomfortable. She looked back and forth between them. "You don't just go ripping up pictures. I don't care how angry you are at your father!"

Maddie threw her head back and screwed up her face. "He's not my father!" she shouted. She glared at Rayna and then ran out of the room. Rayna looked briefly at Daphne, who was starting to tear up, then turned and stormed out.

* * *

Rayna followed Maddie down the hall to her room. Maddie tried to shut the door, but Rayna pushed hard against it. Maddie rushed over to her bed and flounced down on it, crossing her arms over her chest and scowling. Rayna stood next to the bed, her hands on her hips, tears filling her eyes.

"I can't believe you did that," she said, her voice deceptively quiet. "And let your sister do it too. What were you thinking?"

Maddie raised up her chin, looking cooly at her mother. "He's an embarrassment. To both Daphne _and_ me. You know that," she said.

Rayna looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, then looked back at her daughter. "I know it's a hard situation, Maddie. Trust me, I know exactly what you're feeling." She thought back on the time when Lamar had been arrested and thrown in jail. Even though her relationship with her father had been tenuous, at that time, it had felt a lot like she thought Maddie was feeling now. "But he _is_ your father."

Maddie got up off the bed and walked towards her closet. "He's _not_ my father. Deacon's my father."

Rayna stormed over to her and grabbed her by the arm, turning Maddie to face her. She frowned. "Maddie, he's the father that raised you. No matter what the circumstances or where we are today, Teddy Conrad loves you just like you were his own. And he raised you, all your life, like you were his own. There was no difference, in his eyes. You may not want to believe this, but you owe him a lot, for being a good father to you. For loving you and taking care of you and protecting you." Her voice was firm, her eyes flashing. "Yes, Deacon is your father too, but you can't just wipe away the family we had. You can't just pick and choose a father when you feel like it. Teddy Conrad will always be your father, Maddie."

Maddie breathed out, looking down towards the floor. Then she looked back at her mother with tears in her eyes. "He didn't think about us, about Daphne and me, when he did all those things," she cried angrily. "Didn't he care that it would hurt us?"

Rayna pulled her daughter into her arms. "He does care, sweet girl," she said, her voice soothing, as she rubbed Maddie's arm. "I just think he got caught up in something before he realized what it was." She stepped back, holding Maddie at arms' length and looking at her with compassion. "But he needs you and your sister, all of us, really, to support him. He didn't mean to hurt any of us. And he loves you and Daphne, more than anything. It would hurt him so much if you turned away from him."

Maddie crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "Doesn't it bother you that he did this? Doesn't it make you angry?" she asked.

Rayna took a deep breath, then nodded. "It does make me angry, Maddie," she said. "But it also makes me sad. Because he was a good man and a good father and he took good care of us for a long time. I couldn't have picked a better father for you and he did a good job at it. And he was a good husband and provider for our family, in a lot of different ways. That's what _I_ have to remember. And I want you and Daphne to remember that too." Her heart ached as a tear rolled down Maddie's cheek. "Don't give up on him, sweetie."

Maddie took a deep breath and then looked back at her mother, a mulish look on her face. " _Deacon's_ my dad. I don't need another dad," she said, although tears were streaking down her face and her tone wasn't so intractable anymore.

Rayna took her hand, looking at her daughter with understanding. "Maddie, he loves you and you can never have too many people love you," she said gently. "You and I can argue about all of that history until the end of time, but he was there to help you learn to tie your shoes and ride a bike. He sat with you when you were sick and went to your soccer games and school activities. He never loved you less because you weren't his biological daughter. You were his the moment you were born. And you can't erase all those years, just because you want to. You can be mad at him, and I get that, I really do. But don't say he's not your dad. He'll always be your dad."

Maddie's eyes were full of sorrow as she listened to Rayna. Then she moved to hug her mom and Rayna wrapped her arms around her daughter and they just stood together as Maddie cried on her shoulder.

* * *

The next morning, as Rayna was drinking coffee, Deacon walked in the back door after being by Beverly's side at the hospital all night. The pain on his face broke her heart as she turned to look at him. She put down her coffee mug and walked over to him, taking him in her arms. He held her tightly, burying his face in her hair. "How you doing, babe?" she asked softly.

He stepped back and looked down at her, running one hand over her hair, then resting it on her shoulder. "I don't know," he said, his eyes red with unshed tears.

When they'd talked the night before, he'd told her about Scarlett's decision. She knew he was opposed to it and she didn't quite know what to expect, what to say, how to comfort him. "What are you going to do?" she asked, running her hand over his cheek.

He bit his lip lightly and looked up towards the ceiling, shaking his head. "I just…I don't know," he said quietly. He swallowed hard and then looked at her. "How are things here?"

She shrugged. "I guess we'll see this morning. Now that they've had time to sleep on it all." She sighed. "I get that they're upset and it's hard, but we're family. We can't give up on each other." She looked up at him, letting him know with her eyes that she meant far more than just Teddy, Maddie, and Daphne.

He nodded and took a deep breath. "It'll all work out, Ray," he said. "You know that."

She put her arms around his waist and stepped a little closer to him. "We're gonna go see Teddy again today. We talked about it last night. I think it's the right thing to do. We need to fix this," she said.

He ran his hand over the back of her head and then lightly grazed her cheek with his thumb. "Sounds like a good idea." He leaned in and kissed her softly.

She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. He looked tired and drained. "What are you gonna do, babe?" she asked again.

He took a deep breath. "I'm just gonna stay here for now. I got some thinking to do."

"Will you go back to the hospital?" When they had talked the night before, he'd sounded so bitter and angry, but now he seemed almost resigned. She hoped he'd decided to be there, to support Scarlett.

He shrugged. "I don't know what I'm gonna do, Ray. I just don't." He looked so forlorn and she felt a chill run up her spine. She worried about what this would do to him. She wished she didn't have the mess with Teddy and the girls to work through so she could be by his side. He raised his eyebrows at her. "I'll be okay," he said, as though he knew what she'd been thinking. "You need to do this."

She leaned in then, resting her head on his chest, and he wrapped her up in his arms. "I'm sorry, babe," she said.

He kissed her on the forehead, then stepped back, taking her hand. He led her over to the den and they sat together, their arms wrapped around each other, not saying a word, just taking comfort in being together. She laid her hand on his heart and looked up at him. He leaned down and kissed her, then wrapped his arms more tightly around her. This would be a difficult day for both of them and it felt good to know they would not have to face any of it alone.


	2. Chapter 2

_**This missing scene covers the period between the end of episode 3, when Deacon was at his house, to just before the scene in episode 4 where Rayna and Deacon talk before leaving for the funeral.**_

Rayna had just checked on the girls. Daphne was reading and Maddie was laying on her bed listening to music. They seemed to have settled down after the morning visit with Teddy. She looked at her watch and saw that it was after one. She frowned. She thought she would have heard from Deacon by now. They were scheduled to disconnect Beverly from life support at noon. She really wished she'd gone with him. She could see how distraught he was and she knew he'd been angry with Scarlett, but she didn't want him to feel like she didn't trust him to get through this on his own. But it worried her a little that he hadn't called.

She walked downstairs to the kitchen and found her phone. When she looked at the screen there were no missed calls from him, no texts. She scrolled down to his name and pressed call, lifting the phone to her ear. She frowned again when it went directly to voice mail. "Hey, babe," she said softly. "Call me when you can." She put the phone down on the counter, her mind racing with worry. She picked it back up and called Scarlett.

"Hey, Rayna," came Scarlett's sad voice when she answered.

Rayna could hear her heartbreak through the phone. "Hey, sweetheart. How are you?" she asked.

Scarlett choked on a sob. "I'm okay," she whispered.

"How'd Deacon handle it?" Rayna asked.

There was a pause. "Deacon didn't come," Scarlett said, her voice flat.

Rayna felt a cold chill run down her spine. "What?" she asked. "But he left here at 11:30…."

"He wasn't here."

"And you didn't hear from him?"

"No, I didn't. I'm sorry." Scarlett sighed on the other end.

Rayna shook her head. "No, sweetheart, you don't have to be sorry." She took a deep breath. "I wish he'd been there with you."

"I do too," Scarlett said quietly. "You can tell him she went real peaceful." There was a pause. "I'm sorry, I gotta go. I got some things I need to take care of."

Rayna nodded on her end. "That's fine. I'll have Deacon call you, okay?"

"Sure, that's fine," Scarlett said, and then she hung up.

Rayna stood with the phone in her hand, her mind racing. _Where could he be? What was he doing? Was he…._ She didn't want to finish her last thought. He wouldn't throw everything away, not now, surely. She pushed her worst fears out of her head and ran up the stairs to tell Maddie she was going out.

* * *

She reached up and brushed the tears out of her eyes as she drove. There were only two places she could think of where he'd go and she headed first for his house in East Nashville. When she finally turned onto the street, she nearly wept with relief when she saw his truck. She pulled in behind it and sat for just a moment, to compose herself. Then she got out and ran up the steps and walked into the house.

He was sitting in his bedroom, the one he'd had redecorated for Beverly's homecoming. He and Scarlett had picked out new furniture and added new curtains and bed linens. Everything was light and airy, so different from how it had been when he'd lived there. He'd even had it painted yellow, Beverly's favorite color, as a surprise for her. He'd wanted to paint it himself, but she'd put her foot down. Even though he was feeling good and the doctors talked about his amazing recovery, she was not going to let him overdo it and so she'd found someone to do the painting for him.

He looked up when she walked in, grief etched across his face. Then his face crumpled into tears and she walked over to sit down next to him, putting her arms around him, letting him lean his head on her shoulder. She made soothing little sounds as she rubbed his arm, every now and then gently kissing his forehead, letting him cry. He'd put an arm around her waist and held her tightly, until finally his tears stopped. He took a deep breath and sat up, rubbing his fingers under his eyes to brush away the tears. His eyes were filled with sadness as he looked at her. "I couldn't go," he said.

She took one of his hands and held it in both of hers. "I know," she said. "I'm so sorry, babe." She moved one hand to press against his face, rubbing her thumb across his cheek. "Let's go home."

He took a deep breath and then he nodded. "Okay," he said, his voice low and heavy with his emotions. He let her pull him up off the bed and then, when she started to turn to walk out, he reached for her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

* * *

Rayna kept an eye on the rearview mirror as she drove across town. Deacon wouldn't let her drive him home, insisting he needed to drive himself, not wanting to leave his truck. She'd started to insist, but when she looked at him, looking like the whole world was resting on his shoulders, she decided not to press. She let go with a sigh of relief when she pulled into her drive and he followed behind her. She got out of her car and waited for him.

He sat for a minute in his truck, then got out and slowly walked over to her. He still had that forlorn look on his face, but he reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "I'm sorry, baby," he said.

She frowned. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. I know it's been hard on you." She took a step towards the house, but he stood his ground, just looking up. She pulled at his hand gently. "Let's go sit by the pool," she suggested.

He nodded, then let her lead him past the house and out to the deck area surrounding the pool. It was a warm, but not hot day, with a gentle breeze, the sun bright. They walked over to where the lounge chairs were and he sat, pulling her down onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she put her arms around his neck. "I don't know how I'd do this without you, Ray," he said.

She put her hand on his cheek. "You don't have to," she said. "I'm right by your side. As much as you need."

He looked at her, his eyes starting to tear up. "I don't know how she coulda done that," he said, his voice quivering. "How could she let her go? Beverly was such a fighter. How'd she know she wouldn't keep fighting?"

Rayna sighed, her heart hurting for him. She knew that, right now, he couldn't hear anything other than that Scarlett had taken away Beverly's chance to live. She knew Beverly's condition was dire and that the likelihood was she'd never recover. She personally believed Scarlett had done the right thing, but she also knew how hard it could be to let go. It had made her think about when she herself had been gravely injured in the car accident. She wondered what decisions _her_ family might have made back then, how difficult it might have been for them to acknowledge and accept that she wouldn't survive. Thankfully, it hadn't come to that, but she suspected that it would have been this hard for them to let her go. She pulled him into her shoulder, running her hand gently over his head. "I don't know the answer to that, babe," she said softly. "I have to believe, though, it wasn't an easy decision for her."

She could feel him tense up. "I don't wanna talk about it right now," he said, frowning as he sat back and looked at her. Then he took a deep breath and rubbed her arm. "How the girls doing?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess. They've been kinda quiet since we got back." She'd given him a brief recap of the visit when they'd returned from the jail, but he'd been so wrapped up in what was happening with Beverly that she wasn't sure he'd even heard her.

He looked at her thoughtfully. "I know it's gonna be tough for both of them, but we need to stay close to Daphne, you know?" he said.

She smiled tearfully at him, touched that he was thinking about Daphne's pain in the midst of his own. "Yeah, we do," she said, finally.

Now it was Rayna's turn to melt into Deacon, as she thought about her daughters and Teddy. Deacon reached up to run his hand over her hair, gently pressing her head against his shoulder. He couldn't help but be grateful for her persistence, that day at the cabin, when she'd first found out he was sick. It definitely had made everything a lot less daunting. Even this.

It had felt like he'd waited a lifetime for this. For this woman, for her to be in his arms, by his side, sharing his life, him sharing hers. He still woke up every day and said a prayer of gratitude that she was right beside him, that he could hold on to her and she could hold on to him. He pulled her in closer and she made a little noise of contentment as he did.

* * *

Maddie looked out her window that overlooked the back of the house. The sun was beginning to lower in the sky, casting long shadows out over the pool. She smiled to herself as her eyes settled on her parents on one of the lounge chairs. They were laying side-by-side, her dad's arm draped around her mom's waist. She thought, at first, that they might be dozing, but then she saw them link hands. It had been amazing to have them together and it warmed her heart now. She was really glad they had each other.

* * *

"Hey, Dad."

Deacon turned around and saw Maddie at the door of the music room. He smiled sadly. "Hey, sweet girl," he said.

She walked around the couch and sat down next to him. "Are you okay?" she asked, her faced screwed up with concern. "You didn't stay downstairs with us after dinner."

He took a deep breath, raising his eyebrows. "I just needed some alone time, I guess," he said. "It's been a hard day."

Maddie nodded, her eyes sad. "I'm sorry about Aunt Beverly." She reached out and put her hand on his arm and he covered it with his own hand. "I wish I'd known her longer."

Deacon bit his lip and nodded. "Me too, sweet girl. Me too."

"Will you tell me what she was like?"

He leaned forward and rubbed his face with his hands. Then he gave her a small smile and put his arm around her. "Sure." He sat back and she leaned her head against his shoulder. "She was really talented and really smart. She and I were a duo for a while, back when we were teenagers."

Maddie looked up at him. "Back before you knew Mom?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She and me, we would play at bars and parties and stuff around Natchez. She was supposed to come to Nashville with me, but at the last minute she decided to stay back with her boyfriend." He breathed out. "I probably should have pushed her harder to come with me, but she was in love and there was no talking her out of it." He smiled a little.

"Was that when she had Scarlett?"

At the mention of his niece, Deacon scowled. "Yeah."

Maddie was quiet for a moment. "Were you two close when you were growing up?"

Deacon breathed in. "Kind of. We were real close in age, so we kind of stuck together. She always had my back and we took care of each other." He looked down at Maddie. "We had a hard life, growing up, not like you and Daphne. After a while, though, we kind of went down different roads." He ran his hand over his mouth. "She was always a fighter though," he said, his voice trailing off.

Maddie sensed that it was hard for him to talk about Beverly. He could be really closed off when he was going through tough times, like now. He'd been like that with her before. Her mom had told her that it was partly because he was an alcoholic, that there were times when it was hard for him to deal with hard times and tough situations. She didn't want him to close himself off, though, so she sat up. "I've been working on a new song at school," she said. "Can I play it for you?"

Deacon looked at her, trying to pull himself out of the moroseness he was feeling. He forced himself to smile at her. "I'd love that, sweetie," he said.

Maddie smiled and got up to get a guitar. She sat back down on the couch and ran her fingers over the strings for a moment, then settled into the melody of the song.

 _I wonder what it's like to live on cloud 9 / Where everything's fine all of the time / I wonder how it feels to be unafraid / Day after day after it rains_

 _Someday, somehow / Before too long / I'll say goodbye to my burdens / I'll fly beyond the sun_

* * *

Deacon walked into the den to find Rayna reclining on the couch reading. She looked up as he approached and put her book aside, sliding herself into a sitting position. He sat down next to her and put his arm around her and she rested her head against his shoulder. He rubbed her upper arm.

"You okay?" she asked.

"I guess," he replied. "Maddie and I played a little bit together."

Rayna smiled. "I'm glad y'all did that, babe." Then she sighed. "So, Scarlett called," she said, feeling Deacon tense up as she said that. "She wanted you to come with her tomorrow to make funeral plans."

He cleared his throat. "Ain't doing it," he said.

She sat up and turned to look at him, concern on her face. "Deacon, I think you should. Don't you want to help decide how we say goodbye to Beverly?"

He looked at her and frowned, but she saw the pain in his eyes. "We shouldn't be doing this, Rayna," he said firmly. "She can take it on herself. Just like she did pulling the plug on her." He screwed up his face. "She's gonna have to live with that. I ain't helping her." He pushed up from the couch and stalked off, leaving Rayna watching him, her heart breaking for him.

She sat for a moment, as he disappeared from her view, and then rubbed her hands on her thighs. She got up and walked over to the counter and picked up her phone. She waited for Scarlett to answer.

"Hey, Rayna," came Scarlett's voice, sounding small and sad.

"Hey, sweetheart. How you doing?" she asked.

"I don't know. I feel like I'm in a dream." She hesitated. "Is Deacon gonna come tomorrow?"

Rayna rubbed her temple. "I don't think so," she said, regretfully. "I'm so sorry."

"I guess I ain't surprised," Scarlett said. "Do you think he'll at least come to the funeral?"

"I think he'll be there," Rayna said, although she wasn't sure of that at all. She thought he needed to be, but this was exactly the kind of thing he would pull away from. "Let us know anything we can do and what you decide."

"I will." Scarlett choked on a sob. "Thanks, Rayna, for trying. I know Deacon is a stubborn man and I know he thinks I made a mistake, but I really did do the only thing I thought I could do."

"I know, sweetheart. And don't you worry about Deacon. You know he'll come around eventually. Right now he's just so sad and hurt over losing her. She made the ultimate sacrifice – for him – and he's having a hard time getting his arms around that. You know that about him too. He just needs some time." She sighed. "You take care, okay? And call me anytime you need to."

"Thank you, Rayna."

After they hung up, Rayna sat at the kitchen island and wondered how long Deacon would make Scarlett suffer and how long he would blame himself. She knew that neither of those things was good for anyone and she hoped she could help him work through that. She finally got up and headed back for the bedroom.

* * *

When she walked into the bedroom, Deacon was sitting back against the pillows, his eyes closed, but with the bedside light on. When she walked over to see if he was asleep, he opened his eyes. "Hey, baby," he said.

She sat on the edge of the bed next to him and took his hands in hers. "Hey. I thought you might be sleeping," she said.

He shook his head. "Couldn't sleep." He squeezed her hands. "Come sit next to me, baby."

She smiled and crawled over him, sliding under the covers and snuggling up against him. He put his arms around her and kissed her on her forehead. "I really do appreciate you being here," he said. "I don't know if I could do this without you."

She turned her face up towards him and ran her hand over his cheek. "Where else would I be?" she asked. "From now on, you've always got me right by your side, babe."

He breathed in and then smiled. "You know, Cole told me once that you were my addiction," he said. "Like it was a bad thing that I loved you. That I waited for you."

She frowned. "He was wrong, then," she replied. "I mean, how could that be? We're part of each other, better together than apart. I support you and you support me. It's what I told you, it's true love. It's always been there."

He rolled onto his side and her onto her back. He put his hand on her bare thigh, just below the gym shorts she had on. He watched his hand as he ran his fingers up her leg and slid them beneath the silky fabric. She made a moaning noise and he looked up and into her eyes then. "I love you," he whispered and then captured her mouth with his. She turned towards him, tugging on his lip, as they touched and stroked and found pleasure in each other.

* * *

Rayna walked into the funeral director's office and slipped into the chair next to Scarlett, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. She smiled sadly. "I hope it's okay that I came," she said.

Scarlett nodded. "Yeah." She took a deep breath. "I guess Deacon's not coming then," she said.

Rayna shook her head. "No. I tried to get him to come, but he just wouldn't. I'm sorry." She breathed in. "He did say he'd like her to be buried here. In Nashville."

Scarlett rolled her eyes. "Which means he demanded it." Rayna looked down at her hands. "I don't care. I guess it's okay. Will he at least be there?"

Rayna nodded. "Yeah, he'll be there. I promise."

* * *

Rayna could hear him swearing halfway down the hall. She rushed into the study as he angrily swore yet again. "Deacon!" she cried. "What in the world is going on?"

He turned to face her, a scowl on his face but sadness in his eyes. "I can't get this damn printer to work," he said, clenching his fists.

She frowned. "Don't worry about it, whatever it is you're trying to print," she said. "We can look at it when we get back."

"It's what I wrote for Bev," he said angrily.

She bit her lip. "Oh. I'm sorry." She walked over to the desk and sat in front of his laptop. She clicked to print and then turned to look at him. "It's on One Note. You need to choose the printer for it to print. Do you want me to print it out for you?"

He shook his head, still scowling. "No, I'll do it. I want to look it over before I print."

She stood up and put her hand on his arm. "Okay. I'm gonna go get dressed." She ran her hand up his arm. "This suit looks good on you, babe." He made a noise and turned away. She looked at him sadly. He was really taking all of this badly and she hoped he figured out a way to deal with the emotions that were building up inside him. She wanted to help him, but she felt like she needed to let him feel in control, not tell him what to do. He'd felt so out of control about everything leading up to this and she wanted him to find his own way. She put her hand on his back. "Take your time, babe." She turned to leave, but he reached for her hand, turning her back to face him.

"I…I…baby." He stumbled over his words and tears filled his eyes.

She reached up and put her hand against his cheek. "I know," she said softly. "I know." She rose up on her toes and kissed him gently, moving her hand to cover his heart. "I'll see you when you're ready."


	3. Chapter 3

_**This missing scene is the phone call with Luke about Maddie and Rayna's thoughts after that call. Updated with an inexplicably left out paragraph.**_

Rayna wanted to throw the phone as far as she could. She was about as angry as she could ever remember being at one of her daughters. And although she was also angry with Luke for letting it happen, she also knew that he couldn't watch Maddie a hundred percent of the time. And Maddie was clever, always had been. And mulishly stubborn. When she wasn't digging her heels in, refusing to memorize a poem she thought was stupid, or blowing off homework, or stomping off the soccer field when she made an error, she was snooping in her parents' closet, running off from a social event, hosting an unauthorized party when no one was home, or taking her boyfriend to her father's house when no one was there. She knew Maddie was fascinated with Juliette Barnes, had been since she'd become popular, and no amount of reasoning with her had changed that. If Rayna were honest, she'd admit it probably had the opposite effect.

So it wasn't completely Luke's fault. God knows, she got caught up in all the backstage dramatics before a show. It was why, when she'd take the girls out on the road with her, someone always went with them, to keep an eye on them while she was busy getting ready to perform or actually performing. But it was his watch. And he had at least had the decency to accept the blame. She'd apologize later for blowing up at him.

She got up from the couch and started frantically pacing. She'd need to leave the house in twenty minutes to make the drive to John Tune. She had to get her emotions at least somewhat under control before she got there. She picked up her phone and found Deacon's number. She hesitated just a moment, wondering if she should call him. He'd just told her he was going to stay another day and it sounded like he and Scarlett had finally mended fences. She thought they both needed to be in Natchez and finish what they'd started and she knew, if she called and told him what Maddie had done, that he'd take the next plane back to Nashville.

She would handle this on her own, for now. When he came home, she'd tell him and they'd deal with the fallout together.

* * *

She headed through the darkened streets of Belle Meade until she got to Harding Pike, turning to head towards Briley Parkway. She thought back to the conversation she'd had with Luke.

" _Hey, how'd it go? She almost home?" she asked._

" _She is, be home within the hour." Luke hesitated for only the briefest of seconds. "But, there's something you oughta know."_

 _She didn't like the sound of that. She wondered if Maddie and Colt had had a fight and her daughter was coming home upset. "What happened?"_

" _Well, seems she ran into Juliette Barnes backstage. Best I can tell, from what Colt tells me, they went off to talk. Next thing I know, Maddie's on stage, with Juliette, performing."_

 _Rayna gasped audibly. "Are you serious? Why didn't you stop it?" she cried._

" _Rayna, I didn't know. I was busy, getting things ready, talking to my people…."_

" _Luke, she's sixteen years old! And_ _just_ _sixteen. I was depending on you to keep an eye on her, keep her safe. And she's up on stage with Juliette Barnes?" She was standing then, angrily pacing the room. "I trusted you!"_

" _Rayna, I'm sorry. I didn't know. But you know how it is backstage…." Luke's voice was surprisingly calm, not rising to the bait of her anger._

" _Yes, I do know!" she shouted, her voice rising with both fury and anxiety. "And I always made sure I had someone to keep an eye on my girls, so nothing like that would happen. I've protected her. You knew that! Damn it, Luke, this is the last time I'm letting her do this. I thought I could trust you to take care of her."_

" _I did, Rayna. But she's a teenage girl, not a baby." Luke's voice was getting an edge to it. "And believe me, I read Juliette the riot act for doing that."_

 _Rayna put her hand to her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "You know Juliette's out of control, Luke. You should never have let her near Maddie. This is, oh God, I can't believe you let this happen." She sighed loudly. "This is the last time she'll be allowed to go to one of your shows!" And then she hung up._

She felt heartsick. She'd wanted to give Maddie something fun to do after all the darkness that had gone on after Deacon's surgery and everything with Beverly and the business with Teddy. She wanted to treat Maddie a little more like an adult, even though she was only just sixteen, and so she'd put her on the plane with Luke and Colt, with a little apprehension, and let her go to Atlanta for the show. Maddie had been thrilled to be allowed to go and Rayna had trusted her to act appropriately. But Maddie had completely abused that trust.

She rested her elbow against the door and leaned into her fist as she drove. She remembered back to when she herself was sixteen and realized that, in many ways, Maddie was a lot like she had been back then. She was always pushing the envelope, sneaking out of the house to go to an open mic. If her father had just been more reasonable, maybe it wouldn't have ended up like it had. But Lamar had forbidden her to pursue her music and she had been determined, much like Maddie.

She knew Maddie wanted to perform, she made it perfectly clear over and over. And although she and Deacon were on the same page that they wanted her to do it right, Rayna knew Deacon wasn't quite as hardline about it as she was. But he wasn't the one that had had to defy her father to do what she loved. She was happy to help Maddie, let her perform in controlled situations where she'd given permission. She wanted to protect her, because she knew what it was like, and she knew Maddie wasn't ready, any more than she had truly been ready for all that came along with a career in music at that young age.

She and Deacon would never kick Maddie out of the house the way Lamar had done to her. Lamar Wyatt wasn't a fan of country music and he hadn't been a supporter of hers, although after he'd died she'd found out that wasn't as true as she'd always believed. She and Deacon would support Maddie, but not like this.

She was angry at Juliette, although she wasn't surprised. She'd been wary of the younger woman's influence on both her daughters, but especially Maddie. Maddie had seemed to develop this closer relationship with Juliette in the aftermath of the car accident that had put her in the hospital. It had bothered her that Maddie would reach out to Juliette for support when she was troubled. She had watched over these last few months as Juliette seemed to teeter on the edge of being out of control and she was even less of a fan of Maddie hitching her star to Juliette's.

Maddie knew better than to do this. She had to have known Luke would tell her. she wasn't just angry at her daughter's decision, because, at some level, she could understand her desire to be on a big stage like that. She herself knew the allure, understood that pull, appreciated Maddie's desire to perform. But the music business was different these days and Maddie was too young and too inexperienced. The genie out of the bottle, though, and she wasn't sure how she was going to get it back in and she wasn't sure what the ultimate fall out would be.

As she exited Briley Parkway for the airport, the thought that had been playing around the edges of her brain ever since she hung up the phone with Luke came roaring to the forefront. _I'm jealous. I'm jealous of my own daughter. That she stood on that big stage, in front of twenty thousand people, and performed. At sixteen. When I was practically begging for a spot at the worst sort of honky-tonks around town._ She swallowed hard and shook her head, as though to push that train of thought far, far away. All that mattered was _what_ had happened, not where.

She pulled into the private airport parking lot. She looked over at the time and noted that the plane would be landing in less than ten minutes. She took a deep breath. This would likely not be a pleasant homecoming. For either of them.

 _ **I will have a second missing scene up hopefully by the end of the weekend. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: To blondclyde – Regarding your review on chapter 3, I think it's entirely possible that Rayna would have had that clarity of thought about how Maddie's life was paralleling hers to a degree, but then when Maddie got bratty, Rayna lost her cool. That's the way I saw it in my head – I actually had the same thoughts you did!**_

* * *

 _ **This missing scene is before and after Rayna talks to Deacon about going to Natchez to help Scarlett with packing up Beverly's house.**_

Deacon and Rayna lay side-by-side, not talking, for a long time after Deacon came home. He could feel himself relax into her embrace, letting go of some of the stress of the last several days. He thought back to when he'd convinced himself first not to tell her about his cancer and then later, when he had, that he wouldn't let her be by his side to help him through it. But, as was her way, she was resolute in her intent to change his mind, much as he'd been initially resolute that he would not let her. In the end, though, she'd worn him down, although, truthfully, it had always been hard to resist her. Eventually he'd given in and now, with her arm around him and feeling her body stretched out against his back, he couldn't imagine how he'd ever thought he'd get through the surgery and Beverly's coma and then her death without her.

He moved his hand to cover hers. He'd been relieved to know she hadn't assumed he'd been drinking. That hadn't always been the case and he was glad that they had moved beyond that, finally. He hadn't assumed that getting a new liver would erase the desire, but what he did know for sure is that he would never throw away Beverly's gift. He'd been impressed by his sponsor's ability to work in that environment and stay sober and he'd known then that he would do whatever he had to to honor Beverly's sacrifice.

He turned then to face Rayna. She reached her hand up to his face, her eyes searching his. He slid his arm around her waist. "Thank you, baby," he said quietly.

She gave him a tiny smile. "What for?" she asked.

"For being here."

Her smile got bigger. "I'll always be here, babe. Don't you ever worry about that." And then she leaned in and kissed him, tugging at his lip until he opened his mouth to her and then gave himself over to her comforting touch.

* * *

The buzzing of the phone on Rayna's side of the bed woke them up the next morning. Deacon moved his arm from around her and she kissed him on the cheek before reluctantly rolling over to see who it was. When she picked up the phone she saw it was a text from Scarlett. She and Gunnar had postponed some tour dates before Beverly's death and she wondered if she was changing her mind on that. _Rayna, I'm going to Natchez to clear out Mama's house. Be back in a couple days and then we'll talk._

"Who was it, baby?" Deacon asked, his eyebrows raised.

She looked at him for a minute. "Scarlett. She's gone to clear out Beverly's house." She watched as he frowned and then turned on his side, his back to her. She hated the distance between him and Scarlett, especially now, when they needed each other so much. She'd wondered if he'd been regretting not going to the hospital the day Beverly died. He wouldn't talk about it. She wondered if he ever would, if he'd figure out a way to mend that rift with Scarlett. She sighed. "I think you should go to Natchez," she said to Deacon's back.

"Baby, Beverly's house is so small, Scarlett can empty it out by herself," he said gruffly.

"It's not about Scarlett, it's about _you_ , babe." She rolled over and ran her hand down his back. "You and I've been through so much loss and I feel like when there's unfinished business, like with my dad, it really helped to go through all that stuff and it helped me, helped me say goodbye." Deacon was silent. "I think it would help you too. Maybe there's some things of hers you'd like to have."

"Ain't nothing there that would help me," he said, his voice full of heartbreak rather than anger, and then he sat up and pushed himself off the bed.

Rayna's heart hurt for him as she watched him walk around the bed and into the bathroom. Then she got up herself and walked into the kitchen to make coffee.

* * *

Deacon stood in the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair still damp. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. He could see the sadness in his eyes, the hurt that was still there after Beverly's death and funeral. He hadn't spoken to Scarlett since she'd told him she was going to pull the plug, not really. He hadn't gone to the hospital that day, he hadn't helped with the funeral arrangements, and, when she'd texted him to ask about going to Natchez, he'd ignored her.

She just didn't understand that he hadn't been ready. He and Beverly had had a complicated relationship almost their entire lives. The world they'd lived in had been full of fear and anger and sickness. They'd been fiercely close, growing up, holding on to each other like lifelines. They had never talked about what went on behind closed doors in the Claybourne house, not even with each other. They had just lived it. And they'd both gone to bed each night wondering how damaged they'd been by what they'd lived and what they'd seen.

He'd started drinking young, even though he'd always sworn to himself he'd never do it. He'd ignored the signs Beverly showed of being like their mother. They had both believed that Nashville was the place where they could escape the horror they'd lived through, but at the last minute she had stayed behind. And from that day forward she had blamed him for deserting her. They couldn't spend time together without bitter arguments and recriminations and hurtful, hateful words between them.

She'd come through for him, though, in the end. She'd put aside all the anger and hurt and bitterness and she'd come to save him. He'd been so grateful and he'd vowed they'd repair their relationship once they were both on the mend. Only she hadn't come through the surgery the way he had. But he knew she was a fighter and he believed she'd come through it all and, when she did, they'd started that process of rebuilding what had been broken for so long. So to have Scarlett snuff it out before he was ready had been painful and he'd resented his niece for her decisions.

Rayna was right, though. He needed to go back and see what there was that could help him move on, say goodbye. Even though he thought Scarlett had acted in haste, the truth was Beverly was gone and she wasn't coming back. He wanted, no, he _needed_ , something that would remind him of how brave she'd been and how much family had meant to her, too, in the end.

He took a deep breath and then he went to get dressed.

* * *

Rayna had finished making coffee when Maddie came into the kitchen. She smiled at her daughter. "Are you all set for your trip?" she asked, with a smile.

Maddie smiled back. "I am. Thank you so much, Mom, for letting me go. I really appreciate it," she said. She leaned on the counter as Rayna handed her yogurt and fruit. "What time are we leaving?"

"An hour or so. Luke said y'all are leaving around ten-ish, but he said it wasn't firm." She winked at Maddie. "One of the nice things about a private jet. You set the schedule." Then she shook a finger at Maddie playfully. "Don't get too used to that, though, sweet girl."

Maddie grinned. "I won't." She took a bite of her yogurt and then looked thoughtfully at her mother. "I can't wait to see Juliette though. I haven't seen her in ages."

Rayna grimaced, trying hard not to roll her eyes. "Well, remember, Juliette's going through some stuff right now, so don't be upset if she's not as friendly."

Maddie shrugged. "I probably won't see her much. I'll be with Luke and Colt mostly."

Just then Deacon walked into the kitchen. Rayna smiled at him. "Hey, babe," she said. When he walked over and kissed her on the cheek, she could have sworn Maddie's demeanor changed from pleasant to closed off. But Deacon started to talk and she turned away from her daughter.

"I'm gonna go to Natchez like you said," he told her, as he poured coffee into a mug. "I'm sure there's something of hers that would be good to have."

She put her hand on his chest and smiled up at him. "I'm so glad you decided to do that, babe. I think you'll be glad too."

He nodded. "I got a flight out, leaves here at noon. That okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I gotta jump in the shower and get dressed so I can drop Maddie off at John Tune. I'll see you before we leave." She put her hand on his chest again and leaned in for a kiss. "Maddie, I'll bet your dad would love to hear more about your trip."

"Yeah, Maddie, I would," Deacon said, turning to look at her.

Maddie looked at him oddly, then got up off the stool. "I really need to get my stuff together," she mumbled, then hurried out of the room.

Rayna frowned as she watched her daughter walk away, then turned back to Deacon. "That seemed strange," she said. "Didn't you think so?"

Deacon briefly looked in the direction Maddie had gone, then looked back at her and shrugged. "I think it's just a teenage thing. It's okay." He took a sip of his coffee. "My flight back is late, so don't wait up for me."

Rayna smiled coyly. "Maybe I will and maybe I won't," she said, getting a ghost of a smile from Deacon. "Well, I need to get ready." She kissed him again, then set down her mug and walked back to the bedroom. As she did, she thought again about Maddie's coolness towards Deacon. Maybe he didn't mind, but she was puzzled by it.

By the time she'd gotten dressed and then hurried Maddie out the door, though, she'd forgotten all about it.


	5. Chapter 5

_**I wish we'd gotten the phone call between Deacon and Rayna before she had her talk with Maddie. This is how I imagined all that might have gone.**_

 _Rayna watched as Maddie made her way out the door of the airport lobby and walked towards the car. She felt white hot anger shoot through her as her daughter approached, seeming not to know the storm that awaited her when she got in the car. Maddie was quiet and didn't look at Rayna, as she settled herself in the seat and fastened her seat belt. But she seemed calm and unconcerned._

 _Rayna reached for her own seat belt and then turned to look at her daughter. "How was that?" she asked, a challenge in her voice._

 _Maddie glanced at her. "How was what?"_

 _Rayna heard a touch of rebelliousness in her tone. She was certain Maddie's lack of concern had been a smokescreen and that she wasn't surprised at what awaited her. "We've only had about a million conversations about you getting up on stage and performing," she said, her voice steel sharp._

 _Maddie practically rolled her eyes. "I've performed with you before," she responded._

 _Rayna felt her jaw tense. "That's right. With permission," she said, hearing her voice getting louder. "Not with Juliette Barnes. Not strutting yourself up in front of twenty thousand people."_

 _Now Maddie looked seriously annoyed. "That's what you do," she retorted._

" _I'm an adult, Maddie."_

" _So am I."_

 _Rayna was astonished at her daughter's moxie. "No, you're not. You're sixteen years old. And Juliette Barnes is_ _not_ _a role model." She was furious at this point._

 _Maddie turned in the seat. "Juliette is awesome," she cried. "She gets me! She just gave me_ _the_ _best night of my life. You're just pissed because you're not as cool as she is."_

 _Rayna felt like she'd just been slapped. What had happened to her daughter? "Okay, well, if you think that's cool, then we have_ _much_ _bigger problems than you getting up on that stage tonight. Girl, you've got so much growing up to do and I'm telling you right now,_ _I'm_ _gonna be making the rules."_

 _Maddie narrowed her eyes at her mother, but didn't say a word. She turned her face to the side window and crossed her arms over her chest. Rayna was too angry at this point to say anything else and so she started the car and headed for home._

* * *

When they'd gotten home, Maddie had unfastened her seat belt before Rayna had even brought the car to a full stop and had opened the door almost the second the car was turned off. She slammed the door behind her, as Rayna scrambled out of her side. She hurried around the car and grabbed Maddie's arm just before she reached the back door. She pulled her daughter around to face her. "You're grounded, young lady!" she shouted. "Indefinitely."

Maddie scowled. "You can't do that!" she shouted back.

Rayna raised her eyebrows. "Oh, I can't? Well, just watch me. You won't go anywhere but to school and back. No outside activities, no parties, no dates, nothing. If you are allowed to go anywhere, it's with me or your father."

Maddie pulled her arm away. "You are the worst!" she cried, with a sneer on her face. "I hate you!" Then she whirled around and headed for the door, running into the house and up the stairs.

After a moment, Rayna followed her daughter into the house, slamming her purse down on the kitchen counter. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm her frayed nerves. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this angry with one of her daughters. She knew that some of this was typical teenage rebellion, but Maddie had been pushing the envelope for the past couple years. She thought back to when Maddie had posted that video online, the one that Colt had reposted, the one that had gone viral. _Colt._ Somehow it wasn't at all surprising that Colt was all mixed up in this latest act of teenage boundary pushing.

She thought about calling Deacon, but it was terribly late. Too late for this kind of conversation. She walked around, turning out the lights, thinking the house was strangely quiet, considering the simmering anger that was bubbling around the edges, for both her and Maddie. She shook her head and headed for her bedroom.

* * *

She'd been in bed for over an hour and still couldn't fall asleep. There was too much busyness in her head. She looked over towards the empty side of the bed and stretched her hand out to touch Deacon's pillow. _God, I wish he was here right now._ One of the most positive things that had occurred since they'd gotten back together was getting to parent together. Every time something came up about the girls, and they talked it over together, she would feel a little adrenaline rush, knowing they were finally doing that together. The mundane things that he'd always told her he was looking for, those were the things they were doing now.

Only this was not so mundane.

Maddie was challenging them. As thrilled as their daughter had been to have them back together, it hadn't meant that she was any less of a teenager. But Rayna loved sharing all those decisions and discussions with Deacon. Sometimes it felt like they'd been doing it for years and it felt so natural to do it together. She wondered what he'd say about this particular situation.

She sighed and then sat up in the bed, rearranging the pillows against the headboard so she could lean back against them. She'd been a little surprised Maddie hadn't used the argument that she was the same age Rayna had been when she'd started her career. That would probably come, sooner rather than later. But it reminded her that she'd had that momentary feeling of envy, that Maddie had sung on that big stage, in front of twenty thousand people, at the same age when she herself couldn't fill a dive bar.

It had taken her many long years and a lot of hard work and disappointment before she'd gotten the call to open for George Strait. She was barely twenty, still very young, but by that point she was wondering if her chance would ever come. She'd finally gotten a record deal, with Edgehill Records, back when they were in a teeny tiny house on Music Row. They were a new label, with no established artists, and they'd taken a chance on her. Her first record hadn't gotten much radio play or store sales, even though the songs were amazing, until she'd started touring with George. That first album had eventually gone platinum and she'd won the CMA Horizon Award that year as the best new artist. It was also when Deacon had gone to rehab the first time.

Things had looked up, though, for them for a while, after he came back. The tour went well and she was starting to get solid radio play. And then they went into the studio for her second album. Even while her personal life turned into a roller coaster of highs and lows, her professional life was on a speedy upward trajectory. She started to headline at small venues, building up her fan base and making some noise in the country music landscape. She wouldn't have her first arena headlining tour until after Maddie was born, but she had certainly become one of the most popular, and powerful, women in country music by then.

Edgehill grew as she grew, adding more artists and using the rising star power of Rayna Jaymes to land bigger names. When they merged with Nashville Republic Records to form Edgehill Republic, Rayna was the centerpiece of the label. That had been a heady time, but she did believe that her steady rise, as well as the hard work she'd had to do before she even got her shot, had helped her navigate the tricky country music business and develop staying power.

That was what she wanted for Maddie. If her daughter wanted to be an artist, and she had no doubt that was still Maddie's goal, then she wanted her to do it the right way. She wanted Maddie to give herself the best possible chance to succeed and to do it in a way that was true to her, not trying to copy a train wreck like Juliette Barnes.

She felt restless and got up out of bed. She walked softly out of the bedroom and then up the stairs to the girls' rooms. She looked first into Daphne's room. She sighed as she looked at Daphne, laying practically spread eagle across her bed. Her youngest was still struggling with Teddy's arrest and with moving past the hurtful things her schoolmates had said. Rayna felt bad that it was all happening around the time of Beverly's death. She tried the best she could to stay close to her daughter and give her special attention, but she was also trying to help Deacon get past his pain. Now that Deacon and Scarlett seemed to have mended their relationship and Deacon was beginning to accept what had happened, she hoped he could provide more of a steady hand with Daphne as well.

She closed the door to Daphne's room and walked down to Maddie's. When she opened the door, she wasn't sure what to expect, but Maddie was sound asleep, as though she didn't have a care in the world. She'd spent Maddie's whole life trying to protect her, trying to give her a safe and secure life. She wanted both her daughters to have choices in their lives and she didn't want them to have to make the same choices she had when she was young. She thought Maddie would be surprised to learn that she'd chafed against parental rules and control too. And she'd been every bit as headstrong and rebellious as her daughter was now. But life had been tough after her father had thrown her out of the house and she'd wanted to spare Maddie some of that heartache.

As she stood in the doorway and watched Maddie sleep, she considered how easy it seemed to give good, objective advice to someone like Layla Grant, who was only a few years older than Maddie. She watched Layla make some of her own poor decisions, like hiring Jeff Fordham as her manager and having an intimate relationship with him on top of that. But Layla had a certain savviness about her that Maddie didn't yet have. Rayna didn't know a lot about Layla's background, but she was aware that Layla was pursuing her career without the benefit of family support and she knew Layla had given up a lot to do it. And like she saw a lot of herself in Maddie, she also saw some of herself in Layla. She'd had her own difficult personal challenges at that same age, although she liked to think she'd made better choices.

She took a deep breath and then she stepped back out into the hallway and gently closed Maddie's door.

* * *

The sun was shining when she woke up, but she didn't feel at all rested. Everything that had happened with Maddie came rushing back. She got up and went to take a shower. That helped her feel a little more energized but she was still troubled about what Maddie had done. As much as she hadn't wanted to disturb Deacon while he was dealing with everything in Natchez, she decided she didn't want to wait. After she dried her hair and put on some clothes, she sat on the sofa at the end of the bed and called.

"Hey, baby, what's up?" he answered.

She smiled. No matter how this conversation went, it felt good to be able to talk to him, to be back in this comfortable together space. "Hey, babe, how's it going down there?" she asked, postponing the inevitable.

"Good, good. We almost got it all sorted out. We rented a truck and once we pack it up, we'll head back."

"That's a long drive. Maybe stop along the way and spend the night."

"We'll see," he said. He'd heard something in her voice, something that told him she'd called for more than just to check in. "What's going on, baby? Something with the girls?"

She sighed. He still knew her so well. "It's Maddie," she said.

He frowned. "What's going on? Did something happen at the concert?" He was afraid Colt had done something to hurt her. He could feel that protectiveness rise up inside him.

She hesitated. "Yeah. Um, apparently Maddie went out on stage with Juliette last night and they performed together."

"I don't understand. How would something like that happen? I thought Luke was in charge."

"I don't know, babe. Luke wasn't watching everything she did, but apparently it was Juliette's suggestion. He didn't know about it until it was happening." She sighed. "I grounded her. Indefinitely. She wasn't at all sorry that she'd done it. _And_ she accused me of being uncool."

Deacon smiled to himself. "You grounded her for saying you weren't cool?"

Rayna frowned. "No, of course not. I grounded her for being irresponsible. And foolish."

Deacon was quiet for a moment. "Think about when you were sixteen, baby," he said finally.

Rayna rolled her eyes. "I _did_ think about that. And there's no way I want that for her. Are you saying you're okay with the fact that she got up on stage and sang with Juliette Barnes?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. But she's the age you were when you started out. And you know this is what she wants."

She stood up and started pacing the room. "I can't believe you're okay with this, Deacon. It wasn't all that long ago that I had to deal with the whole business with Teddy letting Jeff sign her to Edgehill. I don't want her to be associated with Juliette. I don't want other people deciding who she is and what she's about. I want her to be able to do that. With us helping her."

"Calm down, baby. I'm with you. I just want to be sure you get where she might be coming from."

"Oh, I get where she's coming from. She's been pushing this for a long time, you know that. She thinks she's a grown up and that she can make her own decisions. That's what she told me, babe, that she's an adult."

He frowned. "Well, she's not. That's true." He worked his lip. "What do you want to do?"

She stood by the window, her hand on her hip. "She's violated my trust. _Our_ trust. I want to keep an eye on her for a while. Not let her think she can make these kinds of decisions on her own."

"Okay. So she's grounded?"

"And I'm gonna take away her phone. She's not going anywhere or doing anything I don't know about. Or you." She paused. "Can I count on you to be with me on this?"

"You know way more than me about this being a parent stuff, baby. If you think that's the way to go, I'm on board."

She made a face. "I feel like all you're doing is going along with me. That you don't really want to do this." He was silent on the other end. "Babe, we have to be together on this." She was feeling frustrated.

He sighed on the other end. "Baby, just remember how it was when you were sixteen. You did the same thing. You snuck out to go sing in clubs, you cut classes to write songs with me, you would have done anything to get on a stage like Maddie just did and play out to an arena full of people. Lamar did the same thing, tried to hold you back."

Rayna slid her free hand in her back pocket and tapped the floor with her toe, looking out the window. "I still remember all that. And I'm not trying to hold her back. But things were different then, you know that. There was no internet or tweeting or any of that. And I had Watty then."

Deacon smiled to himself. "And Maddie has us." He breathed in. "Look, I agree with you that we should control this kind of thing. She can't make those decisions on her own. So if you think grounding her and taking her phone away helps with that, I'm okay with it."

"I don't wanna lose her, babe," she said sadly. "I don't want her to become Juliette Barnes or anyone like her. And her being up on that stage, with her, makes it seem like she is. I just don't want that for her. I want her to take the time to know herself better and how she wants that representing her on stage." She sighed. "I know I was the same age, but somehow, Maddie seems younger. I know she thinks she knows what she wants, but…. I don't know. Maybe I protected her too much. I wanted her life to be normal and good and easy. I didn't want her having to face grown-up things until she, you know, she was actually a grown-up."

He wished he could be there to take her in his arms and kiss her worries away, or at least try to. "I think you're right about that part, baby. We can help her, though." He breathed in. "Go tell her you and me are in agreement on this. And we are. We both want to take care of our girl."

She missed him so much right then. "Yeah, we do," she agreed. "Okay, then, that's what we'll do." She smiled into the phone. "I can't wait for you to get home."

"Me too. I'll call you from the road."

"Bye, babe. I love you."

"Love you too, baby."

Rayna disconnected the call and looked at her phone for a minute. Then she took a deep breath and headed for the door, dropping her phone on the bed, and then she made her way upstairs to Maddie's room.


	6. Chapter 6

_**This missing scene is a series of scenes, all the thoughts of both Rayna and Deacon throughout the couple of days around Deacon buying into the bar.**_

 _Keep 'em closed now._

 _They're closed._

 _Alright, there, I got your hands. Don't look, don't look, don't look. Right here, okay. There, stay there. Okay, go ahead, look._

 _A bar? Your surprise is a bar?_

 _It's not_ _a_ _bar. It's_ _my_ _bar. As of this morning I'm part owner in what is soon to be the best new venue in Nashville, baby. Welcome to The Beverly._

Rayna barely listened to Deacon as he drove her back to her office. He was going on and on about the bar and what his plans were for it. She would look over at him occasionally and he could hardly keep his hands on the wheel as he excitedly told her what he and Frankie were going to do with it. He couldn't keep the smile off his face. Whenever he glanced her way, she would smile, but inside she felt sick to her stomach.

She thought about how he'd shown up at her office earlier, practically bursting with excitement. _I got a surprise for you, baby. Can you go with me now?_ She'd been so happy to see his joy that she'd agreed immediately. She loved this about him – his passion for something, his all-in mentality. It was what made him a great songwriter and artist and what made him a good lover. They had always been such a great balance for each other – his impulsiveness and her pragmatism – and she'd been caught up in it that morning, just like she always had been.

It wasn't that she didn't want him to be happy, to be excited about something. Lord knew they both needed that. Even their happiness at being back together again had been tempered all these months, first with the specter of his cancer diagnosis hanging over them and then everything that had happened with Beverly. But this scared her. Deacon in the vicinity of alcohol every single day scared her to death.

A sudden chill ran through her as the memory of the day he'd bought the cabin came back to her. It had been so similar to him showing her the bar, it took her breath away. That same euphoria, the impulsiveness that had led him to buy the cabin right after he got out of rehab the first time. Even after he'd been told not to make any big decisions right after rehab, he'd done exactly that. It had been a grand, romantic gesture, for sure. Her dream house. He'd just wanted to make her happy, show her how much he loved her and appreciated her. This had been eerily similar. The impulsive decision. The big gesture. His joy in sharing this with her.

She wanted to be happy for him. She wanted him to have something he could call his own, something that would be his passion. But not this.

* * *

 _I think we need to get 'em in here earlier, alright, I'm thinking about a happy hour, with music. I can even try one out tomorrow._

 _I like it._

 _Alright._

 _Hey, let me ask you something. You didn't think it'd be a good idea to run all this by your old lady first?_

Deacon stared after Frankie as he turned and walked off. He had been excited about showing off the bar to Rayna, wanting her to share in his big news. He had felt like he'd walked around with a dark cloud over his head for so long and now that his cancer was behind him and he'd resolved his grief over Beverly's death, he'd been ready to move forward. When the idea of going in with Frankie on the bar had come to him, he'd felt energized in a way he hadn't felt in a very long time. He was excited about the possibilities and the future.

But Frankie's words had brought him up short and reminded him that he and Rayna were partners now. Partners in life. Sharing things, sharing everything. He swallowed over a lump in his throat. He hadn't thought about talking to her first. He'd been so used to just doing things. If he was honest with himself, it had always been that way. It was one of the things they'd fought about, all those years ago. It wasn't unusual for him to buy something or do something or commit them to something without talking to her first. She usually came around in the end, but there would always be heated words over his failure to let her know.

He knew he needed to talk to her, tell her why this was important to him. He'd just been so damn excited to show her. When he thought about it, he realized her reaction hadn't been as enthusiastic as he'd guessed it would be. _I didn't pay attention. I just bulldozed my way through. Just like always._

 _I need to fix that._

* * *

Rayna had given herself a headache by the time Deacon walked through the door that night. She had heated up one of the many casseroles they'd received after Beverly died, but had only been able to pick at her food as she sat alone at the kitchen island, waiting for him to come home. As time ticked by, she found herself getting more anxious and nauseous by the minute. He'd texted her that he'd be late and all she could see in her head was him sitting at that bar, drinking.

She knew he'd been sober for sixteen years, knew he'd worked diligently to right his ship after his slip up when he'd found out about Maddie. He still went to meetings regularly, even in those dark days when he wasn't even sure he'd survive his cancer. But he hadn't been faced with his drug of choice on a daily basis back then. Even if he went through difficult times, he wasn't putting himself in front of temptation like this. She knew he'd been strong for all these years, but it was still one day at a time. He was always one drink away from destroying everything. And now it would just be too easy.

 _Why are you doing this, Deacon? Why?_

* * *

She put down her book and turned off the lamp. She went to the front window and looked out. _Where are you, babe? Please come home._ She sighed and headed up the stairs to check on the girls. Maddie was sitting on her bed listening to music. When she saw her mother at the door, she narrowed her eyes and turned her face away. Rayna rolled her eyes. Maddie was giving both her and Deacon the silent treatment these days. But she was on a tight leash and so it was par for the course.

She headed for Daphne's room. She smiled as she saw her youngest sound asleep, the bedside lamp still on and her copy of 'Tom Sawyer' on her lap. She and Deacon had been reading it together every night. Deacon had never really been much of a reader, but he'd told her years ago that 'Tom Sawyer' and 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' were his childhood favorites. He had enjoyed reading each night with Daphne and Rayna had been grateful to him for giving his time to Daphne. She knew Daphne had been disappointed Deacon hadn't been home tonight to read with her, but she was glad her daughter had read anyway. She picked up the book and laid it on the table, then turned out the light.

She walked back downstairs to her bedroom. She changed into a t-shirt and then washed her face, brushed her teeth, and took a couple aspirin for her headache. She had just settled into bed when the door opened and Deacon walked in.

"Hey, baby, sorry I'm late," he said, as he walked over and laid his messenger bag on the bench. Then he came up next to her, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. "I'll be back in a sec." She nodded and then watched as he walked into the bathroom.

* * *

 _I'm sorry I bought the bar without telling you. I just sprung that one on ya, huh?_

 _A little bit, yeah. We really haven't had a chance to talk, since everything. I just wanna make sure you're okay. You're grieving, you know._

 _But this is helping. I wish you could have seen this place in Natchez. Beverly was like a star there. I want that for her here._

 _Yeah, I get it._

He kissed her hand, then got in bed, turning out the light. He turned on his side to face her, resting his hand on her cheek. "I love you, baby," he said.

She gave him a tiny smile, her face softening and her eyes gazing at him warmly. "I love you too, babe." She reached for him, pulling him to her, and his mouth found hers. She wanted this, needed this, this reassurance they were good. And, as always, when his fingers touched her and his lips were on hers and they were joined to each other in love, her worries and concerns almost faded away into the background.

* * *

They both loved these moments after lovemaking. She rested her head on his chest and her arm crossed over his waist. He had one arm around her shoulders and his other hand on her arm. She sighed happily and he looked down at her and smiled. "I promise I won't be late like that every day, baby," he said softly.

She nodded, then looked up at him. "I know." She felt the whisper of anxiety again.

He reached his hand up from her shoulders and tangled his fingers in her hair, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. "I'm gonna play tomorrow. A happy hour set. We're trying to build up the business," he said.

She didn't look at him. "I'm sure people will come out to hear you play," she responded.

"Will you come? I'd really love you to be there," he asked.

She took a deep breath. "I don't know if I can, babe," she said. "You know, I've got Markus in the studio and, well, with Layla needing some time, I gotta get Markus's album done. So I think I'm gonna be too busy tomorrow."

He rubbed her arm. "That's okay. Not like there won't be other times." He brushed his fingers across her cheek. "Sounds like we both got big days tomorrow then."

She moved her hand and placed it over his heart. "Yeah, I guess. We should get some sleep."

* * *

She opened her eyes and felt her heart racing. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. She moved her head to look up at Deacon, but he was sleeping, his breathing slow and even. She swallowed hard. This had been the first time in a long time that she'd dreamt about the crash. About Deacon being drunk and them arguing in his truck. About reaching for the bottle in his hand and losing control and the truck rolling over and over and over again until it landed on the roof in a ditch.

She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them again, adjusting to the dim light of the clock in the dark room. Her head told her that Deacon was sober and he was good and solid, that she had nothing to worry about. But her heart had been hurt so many times. And maybe she hadn't gotten past all that fear and pain as much as she'd thought.

She wasn't at all sure she could step foot in that bar ever again.

* * *

Rayna was distracted all day. The car behind her at a traffic light honked at her when she didn't move when the light changed. Then she drove past the school and had to turn around to drop off Maddie and Daphne. She drove to the office instead of the studio and then was fifteen minutes late and had to endure a five minute tirade from Markus. She never really regained her equilibrium and Markus ended up storming out of the studio in the middle of the afternoon.

She hadn't been able to shake off her dream from the night before. She felt anxious and on edge. It felt so much like it had back in the days when Deacon's alcoholism was in full sway and she was running herself ragged trying to shore him up. She kept trying to remind herself he was stronger now, that it wasn't like the old days when it was a miracle if he made it six months sober after rehab. For all intents and purposes, he'd been sober for sixteen _years_. He knew how to do it. He knew the cost of failing. He'd just been given a new lease on life after the cancer diagnosis and the transplant surgery. He knew the preciousness of the gift he'd been given from Beverly.

She couldn't get rid of that nagging fear though, so she decided to go home and try to tell Deacon just how she felt.

* * *

 _Thought you were gonna be too busy to come watch me play._

 _I don't think I can come tonight, babe._

 _Well, that's alright. I mean, there's plenty of other nights._

 _You know, I don't think I'm gonna be able to go into that bar._

 _What are you talking about?_

 _Deacon, you're an alcoholic and you've been fighting this disease your whole life._

 _Hey, listen, my sister died giving me her liver. Do you honestly think I'm ever gonna drink another drop again, because I am not, okay?_

 _It's not the way it works. It's one day at a time._

 _Can't you just have a little bit of faith in me here, that I know what I'm doing, Rayna…._

 _Of course I have faith in you._

 _This is me doing something to honor Beverly and right now there's a bar with her name on it and it's full of people just waiting for me to show up and play, so whatever we do, I gotta go right now._

Deacon felt annoyed as he left the house and walked out to his truck. He put his guitar in the back and slammed the door. He felt angry that Rayna didn't trust him, that she didn't have faith in him. It was the same old argument they'd had in the past. He got it that years ago he wasn't worthy of her trust, but that had all changed. _Sixteen years sober should mean something._ It had been what stood between them all those years she'd stayed with Teddy and for all the time he'd spent waiting for her this time. He'd thought they'd gotten past all that, that she'd figured it out.

He shook his head. He had no idea what he needed to do or say to get her to understand that he was _never_ going to take another drink. Not as long as he lived.

* * *

Rayna went out and got in her car, after she'd talked with Bucky. She sat there for a long time, just thinking about what he'd said and about everything she and Deacon had been through over the last few months. She thought about how she'd realized that night, before she was supposed to marry Luke, that she didn't want to. That Deacon was the man she wanted to be with. She'd still had to spend some time sorting through why she'd made the decisions she had. She'd wanted to take the time to get back to herself, to really consider all the choices she'd made and why.

She remembered how she'd felt that night at the Opry, when she'd made up her mind that she wanted Deacon back in her life. And then how confused she'd felt when he'd pushed her away. She'd been devastated to find out he had cancer, but that had only made her more determined than ever that they not waste another moment. Now that they were past that, now that they knew they had a future to look forward to, she needed to find it in herself to trust him about this. To believe in him.

It really wasn't that she didn't, but old habits died hard. Bucky had reminded her, though, that she and Deacon were different people now, that they could do this, that they would make it. She thought back on their conversation.

 _Are you okay?_

 _Um, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm just really upset about this bar and Deacon and…. I mean, you remember how he was._

 _Yeah, I do._

 _The idea of him in a bar is a nightmare to me._

 _I also know how he is now and I know how the two of you are together._

 _Well, yeah, I mean, we've come so far. I don't wanna screw that up._

 _I think if there's two people that can deal with something like this, it's you and Deacon._

Bucky was right. They were strong enough – together – this time. She did trust him. She did have faith in him. She took a deep breath and then she started her car.

* * *

After his set was over, Deacon and Frankie sat at a table and talked. His anger at Rayna had gone away, as he'd realized her fears. Somehow he'd forgotten – allowed himself to forget – about all that they had gone through before. Somehow he'd let himself overlook all the pain they'd caused each other – particularly the pain he'd caused her – and why it had been so difficult for her, before, to let him back in. Somehow he'd thought that when they'd come back together that night at the cabin and then fit their lives back together, that it had healed all the wounds, that all of that was forgotten. But it wasn't.

He had loved her for nearly three decades. No one knew him as well or as truly as she did. Everything they'd been through together, whether they were truly together or not, had bound them tightly as one. But she was the one who had watched him nearly destroy himself, back when he couldn't find the strength he'd gained later. And even though she'd taken him back in her life and told him she loved him and had always loved him, she would never forget. But he had. In all that euphoria, he had forgotten.

And then Frankie told him Rayna was there. He turned and looked at her and then got up from the table. When she looked back at him, he saw that she was there in spite of her fears and he felt relief. They would get through this. They were a team. They belonged to each other and they would work it out as together.

* * *

Rayna locked her car and then walked over to the bar. She took a deep breath before she reached for the door handle and pulled it open. When she walked in, she was surprised at the size of the crowd. Someone spoke to her and she responded a little absentmindedly, as she looked for Deacon. She saw him about the time he saw her and she watched as he approached her. He had a questioning look on his face and she smiled at him.

And in that moment, she could see that he finally understood. He was the one who knew her better than anyone, who could see inside her soul. And she could see that he knew, now, that although their history would never be erased, it would make them stronger this time.

 _Ah, baby, it scares you. I get that._

 _It scares the hell outta me. But I've never let a little fear get in my way. And nothing's ever gonna keep me away from you. If this is what you want, I'm gonna do everything I can to support you._


	7. Chapter 7

_**The missing scene here is the conversation that Rayna and Deacon regarding what to do about Maddie, but I also extended it to get some of their POV leading up to that.**_

Deacon drove over to the bar after Rayna came home from the studio. He felt unsettled. Ever since he'd come back from Natchez, Maddie had been skittish around him. He couldn't figure out what had happened and she wouldn't talk to him about it. If he asked her what was wrong, she'd shrug and say it was nothing, but then she'd look away and hurry off. They hadn't spent time together in what felt like forever. He missed their guitar lessons and the times they'd sit and just talk.

It had been a big adjustment for both of them in the beginning, moving from her just being Rayna's daughter, to being his daughter too. He'd had no role model for how to be a dad, no one he could call upon for advice and counsel. Back in those early days, Rayna had just told him not to hurt her, not to disappoint her, and the two of them weren't in a comfortable enough place for him to ask questions. He and Maddie had to feel their way through the initial awkwardness until they'd rediscovered some common ground in their music. They'd had a few ups and downs along the way, but mostly it had felt good.

The day she'd started calling him Dad had been a major milestone. He'd been with her when she wrote some of her first songs. He'd gotten to sing with her at her first open mic. They'd furnished a room for her at his house. He'd had to deal with the beginnings of her relationship with Colt Wheeler and her tentative moves towards being intimate with a boy. They had struggled through their feelings after he'd told her and Daphne about his cancer diagnosis. But once he'd moved into Rayna's house with them, things seemed to even out.

So this distance and coolness was confusing. He'd tried talking to her several times and she dodged him. He'd mentioned it a time or two to Rayna and she'd brushed it off as typical teenage behavior. And, after the episode in Atlanta, Maddie seemed to see the two of them as standing in the way of her dreams. That made sense, but he still felt unsettled about it. Somehow it didn't seem like that was all it was.

He sighed. As good as things had been with Maddie, it had all seemed to turn on a dime. And it wasn't much better with Daphne. He truly felt disconnected from both of them and didn't know how to fix that. As much as he wanted to be a dad to the girls, he was feeling like he didn't know how.

And to complicate things, he and Rayna had been like ships passing in the night. Ever since he'd bought the bar and she'd started producing Markus Keen's album, they didn't seem to be in the same place at the same time for more than a few minutes at a time. Even in bed, they seemed to not be on the same wavelength, usually both so exhausted they fell asleep almost as soon as they got under the covers. Things felt out of whack and he started spending more and more time at the bar, helping out with everything, even though he didn't need to be there all the time. It just felt like he had a purpose when he was there, something he wasn't feeling at home right then.

* * *

He'd been pissed at Frankie at first, for calling him out on avoiding home. He'd stalked out of the bar and gotten in his car, peeling out of the parking lot. But as he headed through town, he started to lose some of the anger. It was true, Frankie wasn't his sponsor anymore, but he'd been a wise counsel for the past couple years. He and Frankie had a lot more in common than he'd had with Cole and he'd appreciated his point of view. And as he thought about what Frankie had said, he realized there was more truth to it than he'd wanted to admit.

He _was_ kind of put out that Rayna was spending so much time with Markus. He knew Markus Keen was an important artist for Highway 65 and was pivotal to the label's success. He knew Rayna had been hurt by media talk about the label being a vanity label. No one knew better than he did how much the music meant to her and how important it was for her to create a place where artists could be nurtured. She'd been fortunate, back in the early days, to have Watty White in her corner, nurturing her, and he knew she was trying to build that same safe haven with her label.

But Markus was demanding and expected her to jump when he said jump and Deacon didn't like it. Even though he knew the pressure to get Markus's album out now – he and Rayna had had a long conversation about that – she was spending too much time away from home. And him. He needed her. He acknowledged that to himself. As easy as it had been to fall back into their rhythm, the reality was that a lot had changed between the two of them in the nearly sixteen years they'd been apart. They were still having to work at reclaiming what they'd denied themselves for so long. He loved her with his whole heart and he knew she felt the same, but it was different this time. They were walking separate paths, instead of doing everything together, and it was something he hadn't really expected.

He did want to help with the situation with Maddie. He realized he'd pretty much blown Rayna off when she'd called him earlier. But he didn't know what to do. She knew so much better than him how to deal with Maddie, how to deal with all of that parenting stuff. It was clear that he didn't know all the tricks teenagers could pull. He still didn't really know what he was doing and he didn't want to screw it up. He felt sure, though, that they'd work things out, somehow, some way.

As he turned onto Belle Meade Boulevard, he breathed out. His thoughts turned from Rayna to Maddie. He had no idea what she might expect of him, if she even would talk to him about the Sony offer. Now that he'd had some time to absorb that news, he wasn't sure what he thought about it. He thought back to when Rayna was sixteen and on her own. She would have been thrilled with a record deal, he knew that. But times were different. And Rayna had been his girlfriend. Maddie was his daughter. He wanted to protect her, the same as he knew Rayna did. He really hoped he didn't say anything wrong if Maddie brought it up when he got home.

* * *

Rayna felt unsettled. When Bucky had told her about Sony's interest in signing Maddie, she'd been rattled. This wasn't the first time that had happened. She'd been able to dodge that bullet with Edgehill, back when Teddy had signed her to a contract without her knowledge. She knew Maddie was talented and she'd been pushing Rayna for a while now to let her perform. Now, with the video out there of Maddie on stage with Juliette, it was coming home to roost. It had been unfortunate that Maddie had overheard that part of the conversation with Bucky, because she'd then gone into full teenage outrage mode.

She sighed, as she sat on the couch at the end of her bed. She really needed to talk to Deacon. But he was unavailable. She had thought, after she'd decided to support him on the bar, that things would level out. But they hadn't. He was throwing himself obsessively into the daily operations and now the renovations. It reminded her of how, in the past, he'd avoid tough times and tough conversations by separating himself from the situation. They were together, and yet she felt like they'd never been farther apart.

It had been different when he'd first moved in. Maybe it was because of his health situation, but she'd never felt closer or more connected to him then. But everything with Beverly and now this bar – well, their life was not moving in the same direction anymore, it seemed. And Markus was such a high maintenance artist that he was stealing away her valuable time. She shook her head, wondering why she'd ever agreed to produce his album.

She thought about the conversation she'd had with Markus about Maddie. It had started innocently enough, but almost before she knew it, she had dumped all her anxiety and worry in his lap. And there he was, telling her his own cautionary tale, feeling her pain. And then he'd taken her hand in his, squeezing it just a little.

She felt a little sick to her stomach thinking about that. For the briefest of moments, it had felt like it had back during the last couple years she was married to Teddy and Deacon was her sounding board for everything. She had realized her mistake and had quickly and firmly pulled her hand away. And then she'd told him she needed to get home to deal with all this.

But Deacon wasn't home when she got home. She'd had to deal with the girls. Maddie was still being difficult and sulky and Daphne had holed up in her room with hurt feelings.

 _She sat on the edge of Daphne's bed and ran her hand over her youngest daughter's arm as she lay on her side, turned away from her mother. Daphne had tensed at her touch and tried to pull away. Rayna had swallowed over a lump in her throat. "Sweetie, please talk to me," she said._

" _No," Daphne said firmly._

" _Daphne, Maddie told me what she said to you. I want to talk about how that made you feel."_

 _Daphne rolled over on her back then, glaring at Rayna. "I don't want to talk about it," she said._

 _Rayna could see the tears glistening in her daughter's eyes, although she was trying not to let it show. She took Daphne's hand in hers. "Maddie's just unhappy right now, about being grounded and all that. She's not leaving you behind. You can trust me on that," she said._

 _Daphne stared at her for a moment. "Whatever," she said. "I don't care." And then she rolled back over on her side._

She sighed again, thinking about Daphne. Maddie had told her Daphne said she felt like she didn't belong. She'd been out of sorts ever since Teddy had gone to prison and Rayna wanted to be able to figure out a way to help both her daughters. She crossed her arms over across her waist and thought again about how she'd felt when she found out Maddie had performed on stage with Juliette. What she'd told Markus was true – she could see herself in Maddie and she certainly understood Maddie's desire to spread her wings.

She didn't want to be like her father, trying to hold either of her daughters back. She had hoped to not have to face this just yet, but now that she was, she wanted to be able to help Maddie. And Daphne too. She did, of course, have the means to do that, with Highway 65. She thought maybe it was time to use that means to help ease both girls into the business and make sure they were taken care of. Another label wouldn't support them the same way, that she knew for sure. She wanted to talk to Deacon about it first, though. She needed him to be on board with this, stand with her.

* * *

 _We've just got to be a united front, babe, on everything, whether it's buying a bar or raising our kids._

 _I want to, it's…I'm scared to death I'm gonna do it wrong._

 _Yeah, well, we just gotta do it the best we can._

 _Well, then, alright, what do you wanna do about Maddie?_

 _I think I have an idea, but I wanna run it past you first._

He held her hands more tightly, looking into her eyes as she took a deep breath. "I think I should sign her to Highway 65," she said. "I don't think we can hold her back any longer. But I can help her, watch out for her."

He took a deep breath, then let go of her hands and stood up, walking over to the window, where he ran his hand over his mouth. "You sure?" he asked, when he turned back to look at her.

At first she nodded, then she shook her head. "I don't know, really. But I keep thinking, Deacon, about how it was for me. How Daddy fought me every step of the way. And every time I look at Maddie, I see myself. I don't want her to be as angry with me as I was with Daddy. I don't want her to push us away because she thinks we want to keep her from her dreams."

He shook his head, smiling just a bit. "Yeah, she is a lot like you, that's true," he said. "I still worry about her though. Do you really think she can handle it?"

She made a face and shrugged. "I don't know, but I think she has a better shot with us than with Sony. They don't know her like we do. They won't take care of her the way we would. And we would be there for her, every step of the way, right?" She looked at him hopefully.

He ran his hands over his face and breathed out. "She's so smart, baby. So much smarter than us. But she's got her head in the clouds too. I seen that about her. We gotta be careful." He put his hands on his hips. "But yeah, we'd be there for her." He came back and sat across from her. _She needs me. I waited for this for so long. For her to need me. I need to be here for her. For all of them._ She reached out for his hands and bit her lip lightly. "We can do this, baby," he said softly.

She held his hands in hers and breathed in deeply. She looked into his eyes and felt like she might cry. "I just want to tell her not to be in such a rush, you know?" She tilted her head slightly to one side and gave him a shaky smile. "Once she grows up, things get complicated. As you and I both know."

He nodded and rubbed one thumb over her palm. He smiled encouragingly back at her. "Oh, I know only too well." He leaned in and brushed her lips with his. "I still remember another sixteen year old, thinking she was all grown up and ready to take on the world."

She smiled sheepishly and then laughed just a little. She also thought about how she'd told that story to Markus and the smile faded a bit. _He had no right to know those things about me. That was such a mistake._ She looked back at Deacon. "I kinda had to, though, babe. You know that. I didn't have the support system our daughter has." She smiled again, a little coyly. "But I had you." He gave her a look and she raised her eyebrows. "Don't you dare compare Colt Wheeler to you, Deacon Claybourne."

He laughed. "I was not gonna do that," he said.

"There's one more thing, though," she said.

He raised his eyebrows. "What's that?"

"I want it to be a package deal. Maddie _and_ Daphne. I don't want Daphne feeling left out and left behind. They've always done this together and they sound so beautiful together." She looked at him closely. "Are you okay with that?"

For a moment he thought that what happened with Daphne wasn't his decision. She was Teddy's daughter, not his. But then he realized that he needed to do the same thing Teddy had done for Maddie, not make that distinction when it came to Daphne. He nodded. "I am. I know she needs to feel like she's a part of both of us, right now." He swallowed. "I wanna be there for her, baby. Any way I can."

She smiled at him, then leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. "I know you do, babe," she said. "And I appreciate that more than you know." She kissed him again, a little harder that time. "So, a family meeting? To let them know what we decided?"

He squeezed her hands and grinned, his eyes twinkling. "Yeah," he said. "A family meeting. I like that."

She got up from the couch, pulling him up with her. "I'll go get the girls," she said.

She started to turn to walk out of the room, but he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, his hand on the back of her head. "It's all gonna work out, baby," he whispered against her hair.

She stepped back and smiled up at him and nodded. Then she walked out of the room, with him following behind her. He stood at the bottom of the stairs, leaning his arm on the end of the bannister, as he watched her hurry up the stairs, calling out the girls' names.

* * *

When the shower door opened, Rayna turned her eyes on Deacon and smiled coquettishly. "I wondered what was taking you so long," she purred, as she reached out for him. She gripped his arms and leaned into him, brushing her lips against his chest, lingering on his fading scar. She looked back up at him. "I love you so much, babe," she said, her voice husky. "And I need you. So much."

He slid his hands up along the side of her thighs, over her hips and then encircled her waist, bringing her flush against him. He thought for a second about that text, but he knew it didn't have anything to do with them, with this. When he looked in her eyes, when he felt his skin against hers, when he was loving her the way she liked to be loved, he knew there was no one else in the world but the two of them. They'd fought too hard to get here. He wasn't worried about Rayna, but he would keep his eye on Markus.

He leaned down and captured her lips with his. Then he slowly walked her back until she was against the shower wall. He moved his hand between them to touch her the way he knew she liked and he smiled as she closed her eyes and murmured his name and then he let himself forget everything except for this woman he loved and how very, very thoroughly he was going to love her now.

 _ **I would be remiss if I did not credit Henry McCord on Madam Secretary for some of dialog that I paraphrased. It was stunningly perfect for the conversation Rayna and Deacon had.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**I considered writing the missing scene for episode 9 as what happened after Deacon and Rayna talked in the music room at the end of the show, but someone else has kind of reimagined that, so I decided not to compete. Instead this will be very Deacon-centric and will encompass all his thoughts throughout the episode about Markus and how that evolves.**_

Deacon got the coffee set up for Rayna, while she got dressed. Once he'd made the decision not to make an issue of Markus's late night text, he'd tried to put that behind them and focus on Rayna. Markus wasn't making it easy, however, texting and calling at random odd times and expecting her to be at his beck and call. But his album was important to Highway 65 and Deacon was mindful of his promise to Rayna to be supportive and he'd bit his tongue more than once.

He didn't want to be "that guy". Although he'd been that guy, back in their early days. He'd always been protective of Rayna, maybe over-protective a little – Rayna would probably have said a lot – but he had seen that as his job. She had always been the outgoing one of the two of them. No one was a stranger to Rayna Jaymes. She could talk to anyone with ease and the fact that she was beautiful on top of being open and friendly had meant that other people, especially men, would try to take advantage. He had always seen it as his role to keep her safe and protected.

He knew he got jealous. He hated seeing other men pay attention to her and try to come on to her. He really thought he'd learned how to manage those feelings all those years she was with Teddy, but he'd realized later on that he, in fact, had not. And his reactions to her being with Luke had reinforced how much he couldn't stand knowing another man had her attention, whether she was interested in him or not. He was trying, this time, not to be that jealous guy, but he didn't like how Markus tried to monopolize her time. Or how much she let him.

He realized he was clenching his jaw and that he was gripping the counter. He consciously told himself to relax. _We're together. I live in this house. I sleep with her every night. I'm the one that gets to make love to her. We're good._ He breathed in and out slowly. He reminded himself, again, that he was now that man she wanted him to be. He didn't want to disappoint her.

It had always amazed him that she'd chosen him, all those years ago. She was high society, even if she had thrown it all away for her music. She was well-spoken, well-educated, had perfect manners, was comfortable with anyone, in any situation. He was from the wrong side of the tracks, raised in as dysfunctional a family situation as there could be, never had money, rough around the edges. He was not educated, not smooth with words or actions, not comfortable around people in general. What he knew he was good at was music. He knew he had a way with the guitar and he took a lot of pride in the songs he wrote. He would never, in a million years, have thought he'd have a chance with someone like Rayna Jaymes. Never.

Over the years, their differences blurred so much as to have become non-existent. They were a team, partners in every sense of the word. Rayna and the music and the love, they were all the same to him. As it was for her. It really hadn't been until they were no longer together and she was with Teddy, that those differences seemed to come back into sharper focus. He guessed he'd lived with that for so long that it was hard now to remember that she saw him as he was and she accepted him just as he presented himself. She loved him _because_ of everything that made him who he was and now that they were full partners again, he knew she didn't see him as different.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard her walking into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and smiled at her. He still couldn't believe sometimes that he got to see her every day, that they were building this life together. Rebuilding it, actually. She smiled back at him as she laid her phone on the counter by her purse. "Hey, babe," she said warmly and walked over to put her arms around his waist and kiss him. "What you got planned for today?"

He shrugged. "Not a lot. I'm trying to stay away from the bar while they finish the renovations." He smirked. "You know, I'm really still not supposed to do a whole lotta heavy duty stuff, so I gotta back off that a bit. So probably do some writing. I need songs for the grand opening." He rubbed his hands over her back. "What about you? You got some free time now, right?" Now that Markus's album was done, he hoped she wouldn't have to babysit him any longer.

She smiled and kissed him again. "A little. I'll feel like I have a lot more time when we officially put this album to bed next week." She rolled her eyes. "I sure didn't know what I was getting myself in for with Markus Keen. I don't know if I've ever seen anyone so high maintenance. He's worse than Juliette, I do believe."

He chuckled. "That's saying something too," he said. He stepped out of the embrace. "Let me get you some coffee, baby."

She smiled happily. "That would be so awesome, babe. Thanks." Just then her phone indicated she had a text. Her smile faded as she walked over to pick it up and then she frowned.

He poured a cup of coffee. "Kinda early for a crisis, isn't it?"

* * *

As he watched Rayna walk out the door, with no idea when she might be home, he found himself stewing over the hold Markus had on her life. Her _work_ life, anyway, but it was interfering with her personal life, whether he intended that or not. He considered the fact that he didn't actually _know_ Markus at all and thought that maybe he needed to change that.

* * *

After Deacon had dropped the girls off at school, he'd decided to stop by the studio with coffee for Rayna, since she'd left the house without it. Plus it was an opportunity to meet Markus, finally. It had been an odd exchange. Markus had practically thrown himself at him, hugging him like they were old friends. He wondered for a second if Markus was high – he'd seemed almost too energized, agitated in a way.

He had not liked the comment Markus had made about the two of them having things in common related to Rayna. He had really not liked how Markus used the familiar "Ray" when addressing her. That had sent warning bells off in his head. Most people didn't call her that. _He_ was the one who did that most often and so it didn't sit well with him.

When he'd gotten to the studio, it was clear they still were struggling with finding a song to replace the one Markus had just tossed. Deacon had done a little slow burn about that all by itself, and he felt sure Rayna had as well. Maybe he was old school, but he thought it was disrespectful to drop a song at the last minute. He also conceded that things were different these days in the record business. It was one of the many reasons he'd decided trying to make his own way as a solo artist wasn't worth the trouble.

He'd been surprised when Markus suggested looking at one of his songs. He was pretty sure that his brand of old school country wasn't going to be a fit for Rayna's temperamental artist, but he was even more surprised when Rayna thought it was a good idea. He was pretty sure it would be another dead end, but he did have a lot of music out there that was available to record. He'd made his money on the songs he and Rayna had written together. He didn't really need someone to pick up one of the songs he'd written on his own, but he didn't fight it.

He'd walked into the studio that morning wanting to hate Markus Keen and he hadn't really had his mind changed. The guy was pretty much the jackass he thought he was.

* * *

He was sitting in bed, flipping through his latest _Guitar World_ magazine, waiting for Rayna to finish her nightly routine. He smiled a little to himself. He'd almost forgotten how long it took her to get ready for bed every night. No matter how late it was or what they'd been doing, she always took the time to remove her makeup, thoroughly wash her face, brush her teeth and floss, and rub lotion over her arms and legs. He'd asked her about it once. _Oh, babe, you know, I have the driest skin. You always tell me how soft my skin feels, but it only feels that way because I do this every night._ He wasn't sure that was true, but he did love how soft her skin was, so if it took spending fifteen minutes doing this, he supposed he could live with it.

It had felt good, that night, working together in the music room with Markus. He was beginning to feel better about that, more sure that his jealous feelings were an overreaction. Markus was a passionate guy, about his music and about making it right, and he sure could understand that. He knew Rayna was happy about them working together and that made him happy. They were working hard to reconnect those connection points and this felt like one of them.

She walked in to the bedroom, running her hands up and down her arms. "I'm so glad you're coming to the studio tomorrow, babe," she said with a smile.

He smiled back at her, putting his magazine on the bedside table and then taking off his glasses and laying them on top. "I gotta admit, I ain't never heard someone record one of my songs, so I'm kinda excited," he said.

She climbed up on the bed and sat cross-legged next to him, still rubbing her arms. "I guess that's true. You've just always been stingy with your music," she said, winking at him.

"Not stingy, careful," he said. He breathed in. "I'm interested to see what you two do with it though. You got an idea?"

She nodded. "We can try that bass note he mentioned. I think that might mix it up at little and make it more, you know, _Markus_. He's not strictly country, so I wouldn't expect him to do it the same as you would." She sighed. "I just want it to _work_ , you know? Otherwise, we're still at that point where we don't have an album ready to drop."

He reached out for her hand, stopping her rubbing movements. "It'll be good, baby. I know you. I _trust_ you. You'll make it work," he said. And he was trusting her, to take care of his song, to make it sound good, to quiet his concerns. After all, he trusted her more than anyone.

She smiled and then leaned up on her knees towards him, capturing his face in her soft hands, kissing him with her soft lips. "I will make you proud," she purred, before he threw off the covers and pulled her into his arms.

* * *

He was fuming as he drove home. He was angry that Markus messed with the lyrics of his song. _His_ song. And then Rayna didn't stick up for him. He knew this album, this artist, was important to her, to her label, but he didn't like how Markus was pushing her buttons and trying to put a wedge between them. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel and made a growling noise. _I was right about that son of a bitch._

He was angry that Rayna didn't see it, that she didn't get that Markus was trying to put moves on her. He'd watched it happen back in the old days. He'd watched Luke Wheeler move in on her. And now Markus Keen. He knew he was right about this.

* * *

He sat in the music room, working on some music. When he'd walked back down to the kitchen, after their fight, Rayna and her purse were gone. Then he had felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. He'd stood there, his hands on his hips, his eyes closed. _I ain't learned a damn thing._ This was the same thing he'd done before, a part of what had driven her away all those years ago.

He thought about what he'd said to her. _What I know is that he wants to sleep with you. No guy just texts with some woman that he doesn't want to sleep with, more to the point, some woman he thinks he may just have a shot at sleeping with._

He was sure he was right. All those texts and phone calls, the way Markus looked at Rayna, the way he acted so familiar around her. He didn't misunderstand that. He might have gone too far when he'd implied Rayna wasn't doing anything to stop it, but he knew he wasn't wrong. He also knew she was walking a very fine line with her label. She'd been very hurt by insinuations that she was just playing at being a label head, that she had no clue what she was doing, and that her decision making was too emotional. If he knew anything about Rayna Jaymes, it was that she was level-headed and smart and she understood the business as well or better than most anyone he knew. She'd learned from some of the best, paying attention and taking control of her career in a smart way.

He rubbed his face with his hands. He swallowed over a lump in his throat. _You're outta line._ She wasn't wrong. He'd let that old jealousy, that old feeling he didn't deserve her, to raise its ugly head. He'd pushed her, just like he'd pushed her all those years ago. He didn't know why he'd done it then and he didn't know why he was still doing it now. At the end of the day she kept coming back to him. _That's_ what he _did_ know.

He had to trust her, just like she had to trust him. He needed to support her, even if he was scared, the same way she told him she'd support him with the bar, even though it scared her. He was jealous, he knew that. He also knew he really didn't have reason to be. They belonged to each other. They hadn't gone through everything they had to be together now for that not to be true.

Making music was always the thing that righted his ship. Putting his feelings on paper, working through a melody line on his guitar, helped to center him in a way that very little else did. So that's what he was doing, when she walked into the room and sat down next to him, with love in her eyes.

* * *

He let his breath out in a whoosh and rested his forehead against her chest. He smiled to himself as he both heard and felt her throaty laughter. He loved when she did that. He knew her eyes were closed and her head slightly thrown back, a grin crossing her face as she released all her satisfaction in that deep-in-her-chest laugh. He knew that laugh always came when she was the most completely happy. He concentrated on her in his lap, her legs wrapped around him, her skin damp against his own. Her words came back to him. _I loved you my whole life and I'm gonna keep doing that til I die._ He'd always known it, somewhere deep down inside, for all those years, even when she was trying so hard not to, that she loved him. This was real life. This was forever. He was a lucky man, to be loved by Rayna Jaymes. To be picked by her. Again and again. He slid his hands around to the small of her back to pull her tighter against him.

She moved her hands from his shoulders to his face, tilting it towards her. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. Her hair was mussed and framed her face in loose, lightly tangled waves. Her eyelids were slightly lowered, her face had a hint of flush to it, her lips slightly parted. "I love you, babe," she said, her voice husky and warm, like the best whiskey.

"I love you too, baby," he whispered, just before she lowered her lips to his. As he felt her tongue on his, her skin pressed against his own, he knew they needed to make it official. It was time. He was going to be her husband and she would be his wife. Finally, it was time.


	9. Chapter 9

_**This missing scene is the time between when Rayna leaves Deacon behind The Beverly and he finds her on the pedestrian bridge. An interesting fact – The Beverly was originally called 'Third and Church', which would have represented its physical location. If this was actually where the bar was located, Rayna would have had to walk a little over a mile to get to the pedestrian bridge, so it's not quite as close as it might have seemed. As a Nashville resident, it's always interesting to me to see how they play a little fast and loose with locations. All for the drama, of course, because where else would Deacon ask Rayna to marry him?**_

 _My label's dead. You know how important this label is to me. You're gonna make_ _me_ _choose, because you're_ _jealous_ _? I can't be with you right now._

She walked away from him, without a look back. She was both on the verge of tears and angry enough to spit nails. She'd just gone from being on top of the world not even twenty-four hours earlier to feeling about as low as she'd ever felt in her life. Deacon had been right about Markus and that had embarrassed her a little. She always tried to be straight up with people and she had gone to Markus to set her boundaries, after Deacon had accused him of wanting to put moves on her. She'd had that awkward conversation with Markus, who'd told her he didn't have any interest in her that way. But it had felt strangely good to tell him Deacon was her guy and then to tell Deacon the same thing. Too bad Markus hadn't been straight up with her.

She probably should never have told Deacon about Markus trying to kiss her. She didn't want to hide things though. That was what had torn them apart all those years ago, lies and cover-ups. They'd promised each other there would be none of that, so she'd told him, all the while trying to shrug it off. She hated that he was right about Markus after all. Not because she begrudged him that, but because she hadn't seen it. He'd always been her touchstone, cutting through the crap to the truth. Even if he was passionate and quick to be jealous or angry or whatever, he could get to the heart of a situation. She had always needed that because she would want to believe the best in everyone, wanted to make things right for everyone. And she'd missed it with Markus. But Deacon hadn't.

She also felt foolish. She thought back to when she'd told Markus about Maddie, back when Deacon had buried himself at The Beverly. Markus's story had felt so true. His struggles, trying to make things happen so fast, how things had fallen apart with Boulevard. She hated that she now wondered how much was true and how much had been just a play for her. _He tried to hold my hand!_ She'd waited one second too long before pulling hers away. She had needed someone to talk to, but in that moment she'd realized who she really needed was Deacon.

All of that realization didn't, of course, excuse Deacon acting like a child. As she walked, she thought about how often she'd have to pull him off someone who'd made a pass at her or the times he raged at people who yelled at her to 'show off your tits'. She understood he was trying to protect her then, although she hadn't really liked that side of him. She'd thought the same thing with his blustering about Markus. That he was throwing tantrums and getting his nose all out of joint, for no reason. She hated the feeling that he didn't trust her, that he didn't trust their love.

She was angry that, after telling her how proud he was of her success, he'd dismissed it out of hand because of his jealousy. That had hurt, truthfully. She knew he didn't really mean that, but she hated that he'd said it. Hated feeling so distant from him. She'd just spent hours trying to talk Markus out of leaving and abandoning everything and now she didn't even feel like she could talk about it to the one person she needed to.

She found herself at the pedestrian bridge and walked out a ways. She stopped and leaned on the railing, looking out over the river, downtown Nashville at her back. She rested her boot on the bottom rail, scraping it gently. She loved it here. This had always been the perfect place to clear her head, standing out here letting the wind blow through her hair. It had been one of the places where she and Deacon would go to talk, during those years she spent with Teddy, a neutral place where she could trust herself with him.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. They'd been apart for nearly sixteen years, in the romantic sense, anyway. They'd learned how to be friends, exist together in a space that didn't allow for kisses and touches. They'd learned how to write songs together again, dancing around all the emotions that were buried just beneath the surface. She had thought they were done, all those years ago, that she would be Teddy's wife until the day she died, and her heart had died a little every day when she'd think of it.

The music was what had kept them bound together, all those years. Whether they were writing it or playing it, the music was what had stitched them back together, and even in the shakiest of times for them, it had held. It was how they'd talked to each other, in the days when they'd felt the most distant from one another. And, after the accident, when it had gone away altogether, she'd felt adrift. These days they were both making music, but not with each other. _I miss that. So much._

She'd watched him conquer his demons, putting one foot in front of the other so deliberately at first, until one day it didn't require the same effort it once had. He'd seemed to learn how to be a whole, healthy man, the man she'd always wanted him to be. But it was without her. They'd had that brief time together before he'd found out the truth about Maddie and their worlds had turned upside down, literally and figuratively, leaving her feeling they would never again bridge that divide. But they had, although not without a lot of bumps along the way. They'd changed in those sixteen years, lived lives without the other, and taken many separate paths. But as she stood there, looking out over the dark river and the sparkling city lights, she realized one thing hadn't changed, in all those years. She still needed him. She'd always needed him. And she'd always loved him. _I still love him._

She heard footsteps and she turned. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at the face she'd loved nearly her whole life. "Hey," he said, contrition all over his face.

* * *

He stood there, stubbornly, listening to her walk off, the sound of her footsteps getting fainter as time went on. He didn't turn around to watch her or to stop her. He'd felt justified in his anger and his hurt. Turned out he'd been right after all about Markus Keen. And then the guy had turned out to be a chump, walking out on his deal with Rayna. He could have even gotten past the whole kiss thing, if only she hadn't chosen to go after Markus. He made a noise while punching the air, then paced around outside trying to cool down.

 _I loved you my whole life and I'm gonna keep doing that til I die._ He rubbed his face and then breathed out. He turned then, but she was long gone. He started pacing again, wondering why he kept doing this. It had taken him a long time, back in the early days, before he'd stopped feeling like he didn't deserve her. But as his disease had taken him over and taken over their lives, he'd felt like he didn't deserve having her stay around. He knew she'd stayed long after she should have gone and he would probably never know all the reasons why she hadn't left sooner. But the one thing he did know was that she loved him and that was the biggest reason why she stayed as long as she had.

As he thought about it, he realized his anger and jealousy wasn't about her at all. He knew what they had and they'd been through much worse and come out of it together. She could have a hundred men hit on her and she'd tell them all 'Deacon's my guy'. He remembered how he'd felt in the studio, that day he'd been there when Markus had recorded his song. _That_ was what he missed. Making music together. He was jealous of Markus getting to make music with her.

 _God, I'm such an idiot. Why the hell do I keep doing this?_ He'd stood there and listened to her tell him she thought her dream was dead, her label dead. He _knew_ how important that was to her and he'd just dismissed it like it was nothing. No wonder she'd walked away. But that was something _they_ should be doing together.

He let out a short laugh, looking up at the sky and shaking his head. It was the music. _That's who_ _we_ _are. That's who we've always been._ He headed for the back door of the bar.

* * *

He shrugged on his jacket, patting the pocket where the ring box was. Then he hurried over to Scarlett, who was sitting alone at a table. She looked up as he approached, a concerned look on her face. "There you are," she said. "Where'd you go off to?"

He shook his head, a contrite smile on his face. "Making an ass of myself," he said. "But I gotta go fix that now." He looked around and his eyes settled on Maddie and Daphne, sitting in the pews talking to Cash Gray. "Will you keep an eye out for Maddie and Daphne? I got some business I need to take care of."

She frowned slightly until she realized what he meant. Then she smiled. "Absolutely," she said. "Go!"

He smiled and squeezed her arm lightly, then turned and hustled out towards the back of the bar. When he was outside, he walked in the direction Rayna had headed, knowing exactly where she'd gone. He put his hand in his pocket, closing it around the ring box. He needed to explain, tell her, again, how much he supported her dreams, just like she supported his. As he got closer to the bridge, he started to jog. He just needed to get to her.

He could see her leaning against the rail a couple hundred yards out. He stood for a moment, looking at her, as she stared out over the river, her hair lifting behind her in the light breeze. His heart felt full and he breathed in, tears pricking his eyes. He walked towards her purposefully and she turned just as he approached. His heart hurt as he saw the sadness in her eyes and he cursed himself for putting it there.

"Hey," he said.

* * *

They walked up to the back door of The Beverly, hand in hand. Deacon had his hand on the door handle when Rayna stopped and he turned to look at her. "I'm not dreaming, am I?" she asked, with a smile.

He reached for her left hand, raising it up until the outside light caught the diamond and caused it to sparkle. He smiled back at her. "If it's a dream, I don't wanna wake up," he said.

She lifted her face to his and he kissed her. Then she smiled playfully. "Ready to tell the girls?" she asked.

He nodded. "Oh, yeah, I am." He pulled her to him and then, wrapping his arms around her waist, leaned down and kissed her again. She snaked her arms up and around his neck, returning his kiss hungrily. She wasn't sure she ever wanted to let him go. When he finally pulled back from her, they were both a little breathless. He smiled down at her. "I ain't never been more ready for anything in my life."

Then he released her and, taking her hand in his, led her into The Beverly.


	10. Chapter 10

_**OUR BABIES ARE MARRIED! I'm still swooning over the amazingness of it. But I wish we'd gotten more cabin time. Actually I thought they should have made this whole thing two episodes long, just so we could savor it and devour it and wallow in it, but I wanted more at the cabin. So that's what I wrote.**_

Rayna kept her eyes on the girls until they had driven far enough down the gravel road that she could no longer make them out. Then she sighed deeply and turned to Deacon, with a happy smile on her face. "That was amazing," she said.

Deacon reached for her hand, threading his fingers through hers. He grinned back at her. "That it was. It turned out pretty damn perfect," he said.

She nodded, tears glistening in her eyes. "It really was all I ever wanted," she said softly.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it gently, then turned his attention back onto the dark road.

* * *

He pulled down the long drive and parked the truck beside the cabin. He turned to her. "Can you wait just a second while I open it up?"

She smiled. "Just a second, though, 'cause I don't want to miss a minute with you."

He leaned in and kissed her. "You won't miss one more minute, baby. I promise." He smiled and then got out of the truck, running up the steps to the porch.

She watched him until he disappeared from her view, then sat back against the seat and hugged herself. She laughed out loud, thinking about how nothing was ever easy for the two of them. But in spite of all the drama of the day – between Maddie, Daphne, Tandy, and even Deacon himself – in the end they had the wedding she'd always dreamed of. She closed her eyes, smiling to herself, thinking about the future they were going to have.

The door opening caused her to open her eyes and turn towards him. In the moonlight, he looked like the young man she'd met all those years ago, his eyes filled with love and wonder, that almost shy smile on his face. Her breath caught in her throat as her love for him filled her heart. He held out his hand. "Are you ready?"

She smiled at him. "I am." She gave him her hand and he helped her step out of the truck. As they walked around to the steps, she said, "You aren't going to do something silly like try to carry me over the threshold, are you?"

He looked at her teasingly. "You don't think I can do it?" He squeezed her hand.

She laughed. "It's not that I don't think you can. But we haven't done anything else the traditional way."

He stopped and turned her towards him. "Well, I think we should do at least one traditional thing, don't you?"

"Deacon, no!" she cried, as he dropped her hand, bent his knees slightly and scooped her up into his arms. She squealed with pleasure as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

He walked with her in his arms across the threshold of the door. "I did it," he said.

She laughed. "Yes, you did."

He walked around to the couch and kissed her. "Ready? I'm gonna put you down."

"Woo!" she cried out as he swung around and sat on the couch, with her across his lap. She looked into his eyes and then moved her hands to draw his face close to hers. "My husband," she whispered.

He smiled. "My wife," he said, his voice filled with wonder. He brushed his lips against hers. "I never thought I'd get to call you that. I thought I'd missed all my chances."

"Shh," she said, shaking her head. "This night is too special to think that way. You didn't miss your chance." She looked deep into his eyes. "I love you so much," she whispered.

He ran his hands up her back. "I love you too," he whispered back, and then he kissed her long and hard. When he finally sat back, he smiled at her. "I wrote you a song. Special for tonight."

She smiled back at him. "You did? Are you going to play it for me?"

He nodded. "I am. Just let me get my guitar." He got up and walked over to pick out a guitar, as she followed him with her eyes, not wanting to let him out of her sight. When he came back and sat down, she leaned slightly towards him, focusing on his face and on his words.

 _I've been weak, more times than I've been tough / I've been up and down and out and out of luck / The only give I ever gave was giving up / I've had enough_

 _And I've been loved a whole lot more than I deserved / Through the thick and thin and bridges that I've burned / Still those blessings seem to find me through the curse / This time I've learned_

She thought to herself that this was what they did best. How many times had she said that Deacon and the music were one and the same, that the music and the love were so entangled that it would always bind them together. It had always been true, even when she'd tried to break the bonds. But that night they'd sang 'No One Will Ever Love You' at the Bluebird, she had no longer been able to deny her heart. That it had taken them on a rollercoaster of a journey from that night to this didn't lessen the truth of it.

 _I thank God that I'm with you here tonight / 'Cause that's all I've ever needed in this life / We done love wrong so many times / I think it's time we do love right_

 _From here on out, I'm turning around / I'm parting ways with the man I used to be / And I'm making you a promise / I'm gonna make it count / From here on out_

He stopped and just looked at her, one hand lying flat across the strings, the other almost frozen in place on the frets. She lifted her hands to her mouth. "Oh, babe, that was beautiful," she whispered. "Thank you." Then she slid closer to him, reached out and took the guitar from his hands, setting it aside. "I think I'm ready for my wedding night," she said. "How about you?"

* * *

Much later that night, after they'd finally moved from the couch to the bedroom and she was finally lying peacefully in his arms, he thought about how he'd always believed he knew everything about her, everything she liked. He knew every part of her, the way her skin felt, her smell, her curves and edges, all her secret places. He could make her giggle or moan and it would always end with a satisfied sigh. But making love to her as his wife was somehow different from all those other times. He could feel a well of emotions that threatened to pour over him, as he considered that this joining together was somehow changed forever because they had promised themselves to each other, in front of God and everyone they loved.

She was right. He needed to stop believing he didn't deserve happiness. Because that's exactly what he had, the happiness he'd always wanted, the thing he'd always yearned for, and wondered if it would ever be his. Now it was. Forever and for always.


	11. Chapter 11

_**My missing scene this time involves how Maddie and Cash get started writing together as well as Deacon and Rayna's initial discussions around that.**_

Maddie picked up her books from her desk when the bell rang. She wasn't really in any hurry to get to her next class and she hardly paid attention to the busyness around her, of other students rushing to leave the room, shouting at friends in the hallway, running past her and barely missing running into her. She looked around and then took the long way to her next class, so she wouldn't cross paths with Daphne. She hugged her books to her chest and sighed.

Now that her parents were back from their "mini-moon", as her mom embarrassingly kept calling it, they kept asking her about sitting down and working on a set list for an EP with Daphne. She really did not want to do that and she kept hoping if she just didn't talk about it, they'd leave it alone. She really didn't feel like she and Daphne were on the same page anymore, when it came to music. Daphne didn't understand all the grown-up emotions and feelings she wanted to write, and sing, about now.

As she was walking up the stairs to her history class, her phone buzzed. She pulled it out of her pocket and smiled. "Hey, Cash," she said. She was really happy to hear from Cash. The last time she'd seen or talked to her had been at the wedding. Even though Cash was older than she was, she hoped she could develop a friendship with her. They seemed to have so much in common and she liked the idea of them writing together.

"Hey, Maddie," Cash said. "I've been thinking about that little conversation we had a while back about getting together to write. You still interested?"

 _It's like she read my mind!_ "Yes, absolutely!" Maddie said. "You know, my mom has a music room at our house. I bet she'd let us write there."

"That would be awesome. Let me know when and we'll make this happen."

Thinking about writing with Cash put a big smile on Maddie's face and she practically ran to her class.

* * *

Deacon was surprised to see Rayna still awake when he walked into the bedroom that night. "How come you're still up?" he asked.

She screwed up her face. "How well do you know Frankie's daughter?" she asked.

He came and sat on the bed next to her, leaning in to give her a kiss. "Cash? I've met her several times, back when Frankie was still my sponsor. She seems like a good kid and she and Frankie have a pretty good relationship. Why?"

"Maddie wants to have her over. To write, she says." She reached for Deacon's hand. "What do you think about that? Isn't she around Juliette's age?"

He frowned. "Maybe. Close to that, I guess." He shrugged. "What bothers you about it?"

"I don't know. The age difference, I guess."

He squeezed her hand. "I know it bothers you how she looks up to Juliette."

She made a face. "Yes, it does."

He smiled. "Well, I can tell you that from what I know, Cash ain't no Juliette Barnes. She seems pretty level-headed, down to earth."

It was obvious Rayna still wasn't convinced. "I don't know, babe. Don't you think she'll steer Maddie down some more grown-up path with her writing? I mean, she's just sixteen, after all."

Deacon smiled. "You wrote with me when you were sixteen," he said.

She punched his arm gently and smiled back at him. "You were just nineteen, not twenty-something. And that was different. I mean, I was on my own, living on my own." He raised his eyebrow at her. "Alright. Living with you. So that made it kind of different. But if you think it's okay, then I'll let it go."

He leaned in and kissed her. "I think we see how it goes. Keep an eye on it. And they'll be here, right?" Rayna nodded. "Then one of us will be here. Okay?"

She smiled. "Okay." He started to get up and she tightened her grip on his hand. "Hurry up. There's another reason I stayed up." He grinned and then hurried into the bathroom to shower.

* * *

Deacon was standing in the kitchen when he heard the front door close. He assumed it was Cash leaving. Rayna had told him Cash was coming by again. Maddie looked surprised when she walked into the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Dad," she said. "I didn't know you were here." She came over and leaned against the counter opposite him.

"I just got home." He nodded towards the front door. "That Cash who just left?"

She gave him a curious look. "Yeah. I told Mom she was coming."

He thought she sounded a little defensive. "I know, she told me." He smiled. "You got anything you can share yet?"

She looked a little surprised, but then she smiled. "Not yet. We're still working on some things." She breathed in. "I'm trying to work on something that's a little more grown up. And it's a little harder than I thought."

He nodded. "Writing with someone new can be challenging too."

She looked at him for a moment. "It doesn't bother you, does it? I mean, that I want to write with someone else. I know we've written together some, but you know, you're my dad." She smiled a little self-consciously.

He smiled back at her. "I get it. I'm just your old man plus I'm just _old_." Maddie grinned. "It's okay, Maddie. You should try out lots of different things when you're writing. Especially when you're starting out."

"Thanks, Dad. It's fun writing with her. She really makes me think about what I want to say and how I want to say it." She smiled at him teasingly. "Plus we can write about boys." She laughed.

He grinned. "Yeah, you and I ain't writing about that, that's for sure." He reached across the counter for her hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm glad you're doing something you love, Maddie. That always makes me happy."

"Thanks, Dad. For understanding."

* * *

Rayna curled up next to Deacon on the couch. "Have you listened to any of the songs Maddie's been working on with Cash?" she asked.

He shook his head and smiled. "No. She told me they're writing about boys. I don't think I wanna hear that just yet."

She smiled. "Well, she and Cash shared a little bit of what they're working on. Not about boys, by the way." Then she frowned slightly. "It feels a little, I don't know, maybe too old for a sixteen year old. And definitely too old for her and Daphne to do."

He put his arm around her and pulled her in a little closer. "Everything she writes don't have to be for her and Daphne. I think it's okay for her to write about other stuff." He reached up and grazed her cheek with his knuckles. "She needs to spread her wings a little bit. She needs to write for herself."

She sighed. "I guess. I don't know, I guess I just want to keep her a little girl a little longer, you know?"

"She ain't a little girl anymore, baby. We gotta let her fly." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "We'll be here to catch her."

She nodded and then smiled at him. "When did you get to be such a smart dad?" she teased.

He laughed. "Just doing like you said, Ray. Doing the best I can."

"She's happy though, I guess that's something." She looked away and bit her lip pensively.

"What?" he asked.

She turned to look at him. "I don't know. Something just doesn't completely sit right with me, but maybe it's just because she's doing it with someone else." She reached for his hand and threaded her fingers with his. "And because I think it hurts Daphne's feelings a little bit. She was kind of quiet tonight and went upstairs to her room right after we ate."

He leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. "That's just your mama bear coming out, baby." She gave him a distracted smile. "Listen, we'll keep a watch on it. If it feels like it's too much, we'll stop it. Okay?"

She nodded and gave him a more convincing smile. "Okay. I'm sure you're right. I'm just being protective of my girls." She leaned in and kissed him. "So, you want to celebrate our one month anniversary?" She grinned.

He chuckled. "Baby, I been celebrating every damn day. But yeah, let's go celebrate." He stood up and pulled her up by the hand, laughing as she followed behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

_**I don't know about y'all, but I felt so sad for poor Daphne in the last episode. This missing scene is about everything around that.**_

Rayna walked into the house and dropped her purse on the counter on her way upstairs to check in on the girls. She stopped first at Maddie's door and knocked, then opened the door. She frowned when she saw her older daughter leaning back against her pillow, obviously crying. She walked over and sat on the bed next to her. "Maddie, honey, what's wrong?" she asked, reaching for her daughter's hand.

Maddie opened her eyes and sighed. "Colt and I broke up," she said, choking on a sob.

Rayna looked at her sympathetically. "What happened, sweetie?" she asked. "I know you were excited to see him."

She sat up and screwed up her face. "He said music didn't matter, Mom," she cried. "He totally stomped all over my dreams like they were nothing."

Rayna reached for her and pulled her into a hug. "Oh, sweet girl, I'm so sorry. Why did he say that?"

Maddie pulled back and frowned. "He's jealous that Cash sang my song at the Bluebird last night. And he doesn't understand what's important to me." She sighed, looking like she wanted to burst into tears again. "You're so lucky that you never have to worry about Dad not understanding how important music is to you."

Rayna rubbed Maddie's arm and smiled sympathetically. "Well, that's true, I don't. But that doesn't sound like Colt at all. I thought he was really into music. And he was so supportive of you."

"I don't know, Mom. Something's really changed with him. He went off to live with his grandfather and he's gone back to the school he used to go to. He's just different." She made a face. "He likes to do farm stuff now. And he told me I should be doing things for other people instead of being on stage doing what I love."

Rayna took Maddie's hands and looked at her. "Doing things for other people is certainly worthwhile, but making music can make people feel good, so I don't want you to think it's wrong. And it sounds like maybe Colt's going through some things, so maybe taking a break is a good thing." She hugged her daughter again. "I'm so sorry things didn't work out. Do you want to go with your sister and me to the Beverly anyway?"

Maddie pulled back and shook her head. "No, I think I'd rather stay home, if that's okay."

"Sure, sweet girl."

She gave her mom a sad smile. "Tell Dad I'm sorry. I really wanted to come."

"He'll understand." She leaned forward and kissed Maddie on the forehead. "We'll miss you, though." She got up from the bed. "If you change your mind, call me and we'll come back for you."

Maddie nodded. "Okay. Have fun," she said softly.

Rayna walked to the door and then turned back. Maddie had put her ear buds in and was lying on her side, not facing the door. She hoped her daughter didn't dwell too long over the break up. She hated seeing her unhappy. She walked out and closed the door behind her and then headed for Daphne's room.

* * *

Rayna paused for a moment outside Daphne's door. Her heart had broken at her younger daughter's tears and her assertion that Maddie made her feel like she was nothing. She was sure that couldn't possibly be true, but she had felt a twinge of concern over Daphne's comments about Cash Gray. She'd continued to have an unsettled feeling about the young woman, even though she'd been nothing but polite and respectful when their paths had crossed.

It made her think about Maddie's infatuation with Juliette Barnes. She hadn't been much of a fan of that either, but she had to reluctantly admit Juliette didn't create this deep-seated worry the same way Cash did. It surprised her a little that she couldn't shake it. She tried to push it aside, remembering that Deacon wasn't concerned, but now that Daphne had raised the issue, she wondered again about whether it was a good idea to let Maddie spend this much time with Cash.

Daphne opened her door and looked surprised to see her mom still there. "Mom?" she asked.

Rayna smiled. "Why don't you run on down and pick out a movie for us?" she said. "I'm going to ask Maddie if she'd like to join us."

Daphne smiled. "That would be great if she did. See you downstairs," she said as she headed down the hall.

Rayna walked down to Maddie's room and knocked on the door. "Come in," she heard Maddie call out.

"Sweetie, can I talk to you for a minute?" Rayna asked from the doorway. Maddie shrugged. Rayna walked over and sat on the bed next to her. "So Daphne was kind of upset. She feels like y'all aren't that close anymore. I think she's feeling a little left out."

Maddie sighed and rolled her eyes. "Mom, she's just so young. I mean, we just don't have anything in common anymore."

Rayna frowned. "That's not true, Maddie. You both love music. You like to sing and write music and play guitars."

Maddie threw her hands up, looking annoyed. "You just don't get it. What she likes and what I like are two different things. I mean, I'm having relationships and am learning to drive and have different interests than she does. We don't like the same music anymore. She likes kid stuff and I'm not a kid anymore."

Rayna looked at her for a moment. "Well, that's true, you're not. But, Maddie, she looks up to you. You're her big sister and she just wants to be with you and be part of your life. And she needs you right now." Maddie rolled her eyes again. Rayna reached out for her hand. "I remember, when I was Daphne's age, how much I looked up to your Aunt Tandy. And I'm sure it felt like I was her silly little sister, trying to be like her, but she would make time for me. I'd just like for you to do the same with Daphne. Can you do that?"

Maddie sighed. "I guess."

"Why don't you come down and watch a movie with us? It can be an all-girls night." Rayna smiled at her encouragingly.

Maddie gave her a tiny smile. "I don't really feel like a movie tonight, Mom, okay? I mean, Daphne's just gonna pick some kind of rom com thing and I just don't watch to watch that kind of movie, you know?" She tilted her head to one side. "I'll spend some time with Daphne tomorrow, I promise. But I'd just like to be alone tonight."

Rayna reached out and smoothed Maddie's hair. "Alright. I get it. But please, do try to spend more time with her. She really loves you so much, Maddie."

Maddie smiled then. "I know. And I love her too. I do." She leaned in and hugged her mom. "Thanks, Mom."

* * *

Rayna walked into the kitchen and picked up her phone. When Deacon answered, she could hear the crowd noise. "Hey, baby," he said. "Y'all on your way?" She could hear the noise decrease as he was obviously walking away from the main room.

"We're not coming, babe," she said, regretfully.

"How come?" he asked, sounding disappointed.

"Well, it's been kind of a rough day for both of the girls. Maddie and Colt broke up today, so she's feeling kind of sad and not like hanging out in a crowd. And Daphne's feeling a little left out, since Maddie's been doing other things, so I think I should spend some time with her. Are you okay with that?"

"Of course, baby. I'll miss y'all, but give both those girls a hug from me."

Rayna smiled into the phone. "I will definitely do just that. And I'll see you tonight."

"Don't wait up. It might be late."

"Hope tonight is great!"

"Me too." He paused and smiled. "Love you."

She felt that little tingle she always felt whenever he told her he loved her and that he was her husband now. "Love you, too, babe." After she ended the call, she walked into the den and sat down next to Daphne on the couch, putting her arm around her daughter. "What are we watching, sweetheart?" she asked.

Daphne turned to her and smiled. "'Definitely, Maybe'," she said.

Rayna smiled back. "I love that one. Great pick."

"Is Maddie going to watch with us?"

Rayna shook her head. "No. I think she's just not up for a romance movie tonight. But she did say she wanted to spend some time with you tomorrow." Daphne beamed and Rayna hugged her close. Then they settled back as Daphne started the movie.

* * *

Rayna moved into Deacon's arms as they sat together on the couch. She sighed with contentment as he ran his fingers through her hair. Some days she wondered why she had waited so long, why she had told herself she couldn't have him, _shouldn't_ have him. She'd never felt happier or more at peace than she did now. Once she'd let herself believe they could do this, build this life, have this happiness – and then let herself be immersed in it – she knew everything they'd gone through had been worth it, somehow. This was the life she was meant to have and she intended to savor it forever.

Deacon turned towards her, kissing the top of her head. "It's been a long day, baby," he whispered. "And I'm guessing tomorrow we're gonna have to deal with Maddie getting over Colt. You sleepy?"

She smiled to herself and snuggled a little closer to him. "Not really," she murmured.

He sat up and took her hand, smiling at her. "Let's go, then," he said.

* * *

Rayna rolled over onto her back, breathing heavily. Deacon smiled to himself and then he laughed. "Married sex has got not married sex beat by a mile," he said.

She turned on her side and ran her hand over his jaw and laid her leg over his. She smiled seductively. "I think you may be right about that," she said.

He reached up and slid his fingers into the hair on the back of her head and pulled her in for a kiss. "I sure am glad you waited up," he said softly.

"Me too." She put her hand on his chest and then absentmindedly traced the scar down his abdomen. They both lay quietly in each other's arms for a few minutes.

He cleared his throat. "You think I should talk to Maddie about Colt?" he asked.

"I think it would be nice. Let her know her father still thinks she's special." She sighed. "It's tough being that age and going through grown-up kinds of things."

"Yeah. I guess we can't protect her from hurt forever. Hate to see her feeling that way though." He ran his fingers over her arm. "How about I take Daphne out for breakfast tomorrow? Give her a little attention."

She turned her head so she could look at him. "Really? I think she would love that, babe." She gave him a sad smile. "I felt so hurt for her tonight. I know just how she feels too. When I was her age and Tandy was sixteen, she wasn't at all interested in me." She sighed. "At least not until Mom died. Then she really took me under her wing." She paused for a moment. "I just don't want them to lose each other," she said quietly.

He raised his eyebrows. "Then we just won't let that happen."

She looked at him for a moment, noodling that nagging thought that had been in the back of her mind ever since she'd talked to Daphne earlier that evening. "We don't have to do this tonight, but I think we need to have a conversation about Cash Gray and the influence she's having on Maddie," she said finally.


	13. Chapter 13

_**So we're just not getting enough Deacon and Rayna scenes, so I have decided that's my mission! Anyway, this missing scene is from the night Frankie is drunk on stage.**_

Rayna was headed out of the police station for her car when her phone buzzed. She looked at it and smiled when she saw Deacon's name. "Hey, babe," she said. "I'm on my…."

"Frankie's drunk," he said, interrupting her.

She screwed up her face. "What?"

"He's drunk. He was pretty pissed off at me today and then tonight when he showed up for his spot, he was drunk." He sounded devastated and she frowned.

"Why would he be pissed off at you?"

"He said I had erased him. Walked all over him and took over his bar."

She was confused. "I don't understand. What happened?"

He sighed. "I guess he got upset the night Riff played at the bar and took his spot. Seemed like it brought up all these feelings that I had taken over and pushed him out."

"Oh, babe, I'm so sorry, but you know that's not true."

He was silent for a moment. "Listen, he's passed out right now, but I'm gonna stay here tonight," he said finally. "Keep an eye on him, okay?"

Her heart went out to him. "Of course, babe, that's fine."

"Thanks. For understanding."

"Call me if you need me. I'll see you in the morning." When she hung up, she stood, looking at her phone. He'd sounded so hurt and anguished and it made her wish she could just pull him into her embrace and tell him it would be okay. She sighed, then put her phone in her purse and got in her car.

* * *

Deacon was sitting at his desk, after turning things over to the bar manager, watching Frankie as he snored on the couch across from him. He could still hear the music and the crowd noise, but things were starting to thin out as the night wore on. He rubbed his hand over his face, deep in thought. He thought about the things Frankie had said. His comments about feeling like Deacon had taken over, that he was treating him like a bar back, that he'd taken the bar from him, that he'd changed it to something else, that he'd made it all about himself. He had to stop and think about that, about whether it could be true, if he'd rolled over Frankie, like he did whenever he got caught up in something.

When he heard the knock on the back door, he frowned. He glanced down at Frankie and, satisfied he wasn't getting up and going anywhere, got up and walked over to the back entrance. He opened the door and was surprised to see Rayna standing there.

"Hey," he said. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled. "You sounded like you needed your wife," she said.

He looked at her for a moment, then smiled a little sheepishly. "I think you might be right," he said, and stepped back so she could walk in.

She looked around. "Where is he?" she whispered.

He nodded towards the office. "In there. Sleeping it off." He took her hand and they stood, leaning against the wall outside his office. "You didn't have to come by, baby. I know you need to get home to the girls," he said.

She reached up and put her hand on his cheek, rubbing his face with her thumb. "You sounded so hurt. I hated hearing that in your voice." She smiled sadly. "And I know how much this place means to you and for him to feel like you'd taken that away…well, I hated hearing that disappointment in your voice."

He breathed in, his face etched with anguish. He looked at her. "I think I might have done just that, though, Rayna," he said. "I mean, I been sitting here, thinking about how I just came in and took over. I even remember, back in the beginning, when he told me I needed to slow down." He could feel the dampness in his eyes. "You told me that too," he said, his voice breaking.

She frowned. "But I think you did was positive, babe. You told me he was about to lose this place. You helped him get it going again," she said. "It's getting a great reputation. And you're making money. Surely he's happy about that."

He put his hand on her waist and pulled her just a little closer. "But I made it about me, Ray. By naming it The Beverly. By changing what it's about. It ain't his bar anymore. He's feeling pushed off the stage. Literally."

She reached up and put her hands around his neck. "But that wasn't your intent, Deacon."

He shook his head. "Maybe not, but that's what I did." He looked at her then and frowned. "You didn't have to drive all the way over here, this late."

She shook her head. "I was down at the police station, talking to that detective, when you called. I was so close and you sounded so down, I thought I'd come see you."

He smiled and then pulled her into his arms, his hand resting on the back of her head. "I have to say, it sure was good seeing you when I opened that door," he said.

She pulled back and looked up at him. "You're my husband. I want to support you. And, well, it sounded like _you_ needed some support tonight too."

He ran his hands up and down her back. "I like how that sounds." He breathed in and thought about Frankie, in the other room, and felt a knot in his stomach again. "I just did what I always did, you know? Once I got started, I couldn't stop. And now I pushed him to start drinking again." He put his hands on his face and dragged them down slowly.

She frowned and put her hand on his arm. "Deacon, you have to stop. You know this isn't your fault. This was Frankie's choice. It was his response to the situation he was in, or believed he was in. You know, better than anyone, that this disease is a one day at a time thing. And it was his _choice_ to take a drink. You didn't make him do that."

He shook his head. "I don't know, Rayna," he started.

"I do," she said firmly. "You take too much on yourself. Even when it's not yours to take on. Be his friend. But don't take it on your own shoulders."

She leaned into him and pressed her lips against his. He put his arms around her waist and enjoyed the feel of her soft lips against his. Then he tugged at her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to his, leaning in just a little closer. He could feel himself responding to her, to her soft body pressed against his, her tongue doing battle with his own, her fingers sliding through the hair on the back of his neck. He sighed, deep in his throat, and she did the same. He wanted to go home with her – his _wife_ – and let her take away all this guilt with her hands and her mouth and her silky skin, but he knew she'd be there when he was done with this. And he wasn't done with this just yet.

He lingered a little longer, not wanting to let her go. He finally dragged his lips from hers and she slid her hands down to rest them against his chest. Her lips were slightly parted and she was breathing hard, her eyes all soft and filled with desire. He breathed in slowly, calming his own heart. "Thank you for coming," he said softly.

She smiled up at him. "I wish I could stay with you."

He smiled back. "I know, baby, but you need to get home." He pushed her back and then leaned in and brushed her lips with a gentle kiss. "I'll see you later."

* * *

After Rayna left, Deacon thought about her comments on Frankie's choice. He was suddenly taken back to that dressing room, the night of the CMA's, when she had confirmed she had lied to him for thirteen years about Maddie. He had been overwhelmed that night, by anger and pain and humiliation. He had never felt more betrayed in his life than he had that night, and it was made all the more painful because it had been at the hands of the person he'd trusted most in the world.

He breathed in, thinking back on how he'd walked out and driven to a bar not far from his house. He hadn't thought twice about it, although he had taken a moment to consider the glass of whiskey in front of him, before he'd knocked it back in one swallow. He'd made a choice that night, just like Frankie had.

He'd blamed Rayna, for a long time, for what she'd done, held it inside for months. When he'd finally told her how it had made him feel, she'd claimed her resentment was greater. He'd gotten past it, eventually, learned to forgive and move on, but it was still always there. And he had to wonder if that wasn't some of what Frankie had meant, when he'd accused Deacon of taking what was his. It hadn't happened overnight and clearly Frankie had harbored resentment for a while, without saying anything.

He walked to the door of his office and saw that Frankie was still right where he'd left him. He considered that as much as Frankie had helped him, as his sponsor and his friend, it was his turn now to return the favor.

* * *

Rayna thought about Deacon, as she drove home to their girls. She knew how hard this would be on him, because she knew how deeply he felt and how much he cared. He had always taken things on himself and made them personal and that had often been his downfall. She'd struggled so many times with trying to help him understand that he could only control his own reactions, his own choices, and that he needed to not take on everyone else's. But it was part of why she loved him so much – his compassion, his sense of responsibility, his willingness to go all in. And she was grateful that they had each other now, that they could lean on each other in times like these.

She turned down Belle Meade Boulevard then, headed for home.


	14. Chapter 14

_**This week's missing scene is the phone call from Deacon and how Rayna reacts to it. It's a little short, but I think it probably leads into what happens next week.**_

Rayna felt a happy thrill when her phone rang and she saw that it was Deacon. She was glad the flight from Dallas wasn't that long. She was ready to curl up in bed with her man. "Hey," she said, with a smile. "We're…."

"Rayna, we got a big problem," he said, interrupting her. He sounded both anxious and angry.

She frowned. "What kind of problem?"

"It's Maddie. She lied to me. And Cash. She's not what we thought. Maddie was at that place, Skull's, tonight. You shoulda heard her song. Something about being a bad girl or a wild card or something like that. She's too young, Cash should never have taken her there. And who the hell is she to tell me I don't know my own daughter. And this guy. Touching her."

He was breathless and she could hardly make sense of what he was saying. "Babe. Babe," she tried to interrupt. "Deacon!" she finally shouted. She glanced at Bucky, who looked at her with concern and then put headphones on to give her privacy. "Deacon, please! I don't know what you're telling me. Can you stop and start at the beginning?"

She could hear him huff on the other end of the phone, then breathe in and out. "Maddie went out with Cash tonight. Told me she was going to some coffee shop. And I shoulda known better because Daphne acted all weird about it when Maddie said where she was going."

She breathed in. "So I take it that's not where they went," she said, as she felt her heart sink.

"No, it was not," he said. "Daphne told me where they were going. She heard them plan it. The whole idea was for Maddie to lie to us about where she was going and they ended up at this dive bar down in Printer's Alley."

She screwed up her face. "Surely that's not the case…."

"Rayna, I saw her there!" he shouted into the phone. "I went down there and there she was, standing on the stage, in some outfit I ain't never seen. Singing this crap about being a bad girl."

"I don't understand. Why would they let her into a place like that?"

" _Cash_ took her, Rayna. Cash, who we thought was helping her out, turns out she's helping her sneak around and acting like she's the only one who wants Maddie to be successful."

She took a deep breath, her hand at her throat. "So what happened? You went there?"

"Yeah, I went there!" He sounded a little defensive then. "I wasn't gonna just wait for her to come home. And it was a good thing I did, because the place was full of men. Older than her. Trying to touch her. Damn it, Rayna, some guy put his hand on her leg!"

She felt herself shiver and she felt a little sick. "But she's home now," she said, trying to stay calm.

"Yeah, she's home. Pissed off, but she's home. I told her she was grounded for the rest of her life and took her phone."

"Well, babe, we can't ground her for the rest of her life."

He was silent for a moment. "So you're okay with this?" he asked finally. "You think this is okay? Her singing in a _bar_? With men trying to hit on her?"

She frowned. "No, of course not. But we need to talk to her, when we've all cooled down a little bit." She felt a little sick to her stomach, worried about Deacon's reaction, worried about what they would say to Maddie.

"When do you get back? We can talk to her then."

She shook her head. "No, babe, we're not gonna do that. We're gonna let her cool down and you and I are gonna talk about this and decide what to do."

"Rayna, I…."

"Hey. I know. You're being a protective father. No, she shouldn't be in a place like that, and I guess we have to rethink her friendship with Cash. But, babe, just take a deep breath. We'll figure it out." She closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat. "We're taking off now, so I'll be home soon."

"We gotta keep her away from Cash. Something's not right about her. She was screaming all kinds of stuff at me, about how I don't know nothing about Maddie and she acts like she's supposed to be the one taking care of Maddie."

"We'll definitely have to fix that. And we will. Just please, babe, try to stay calm and we'll talk when I get home. Okay?"

She could hear him breathe in. "Yeah. Okay."

She opened her eyes and looked out the window as the plane lifted off. "I'll see you soon. Love you."

She put the phone down and stared at the dark sky without seeing anything. She felt a cold chill race down her spine and she swallowed hard. She didn't know how she was going to tell him what mixed feelings she had right then. She reached over and switched the light out over her seat and closed her eyes.

She let her mind wander back to when she was sixteen. The same age as Maddie. She'd felt that same pull to perform, wanted it so badly she could taste it. She remembered all the nights she'd sneak out of the house and go to an open mic, knowing that if her father caught her, there'd be hell to pay. She couldn't be sure he never really knew what she was doing. They fought like cats and dogs over her desire to have a career in country music. He would forbid her to pursue it. _You live in my house, you live by my rules._

She shivered. She surely didn't want Maddie to find herself in the same situations she had, playing in dive bars and low-rent honky tonks, having to fend off men who wanted to feel her up, who'd reach out and try to grab her for a kiss when she walked past. She'd used her charm to get into places she had no business being in, just for the chance to sing on stage. She surely did understand Maddie's need, her desire. She'd just hoped she could help smooth the path for her daughter.

Once she'd met Deacon, he'd protected her in places like that, kept guys away from her, probably in a similar way to how he'd reacted that night with Maddie. She wondered if he understood, if he remembered how it had been for them. For her, back when she was sixteen.

She felt tears in her eyes as she remembered the night she came home from her first paying gig and Lamar had stood on the stairs. His eyes had been cold as steel and his voice had been low and menacing as he'd told her she had defied him for the last time and that she no longer was welcome in his home. She was sure he wasn't serious, but then he'd pointed out her suitcases next to the staircase.

" _Where am I supposed to go?" she cried._

 _He raised his eyebrows. "You should have thought about that before you went out and pursued this folly of yours, Rayna," he said, his voice devoid of any emotion. "I told you what the rules were." He shrugged. "You're just like your mother. You don't appreciate what you have. You think you can do what you please and there are no consequences. Well, as you can see, you're very wrong about that, young lady."_

 _She had stood there for a moment, on that beautiful Oriental rug in the foyer, and considered her options. She was scared to death to really be on her own. But it felt like a line in the sand. She wanted this more than life itself and as terrifying as it was to think about being turned out in the street, she knew she had to stand up for herself. Take what she believed was her destiny._

 _She took a deep breath and then she walked over to the suitcases. She looked at them for a second and then picked them up. She looked up at her father, her face impassive. "Goodbye then, Daddy," she said, and then she turned and walked out the door._

She breathed in slowly. She'd often wondered if her father thought she'd really leave or that she'd back down. Clearly he hadn't understood her determination. She was afraid Maddie had that same determination. When she thought about it, she felt like she and Deacon could be at the same crossroads with their daughter that Lamar Wyatt had been with her. She didn't want things to end up the same way this time. She didn't want them to lose their daughter.

She was going to have to be persuasive, she knew. Deacon wouldn't give in easily. He _was_ a protective father, just like he'd been a protective boyfriend. She knew he loved Maddie fiercely and wanted only the best for her, as did she. She suspected he would fight her on this. But she could relate to the pull her daughter felt to be on a stage, to sing what was in her heart, to follow her dream. She'd been there and she knew it would be hard to deny Maddie what she herself had fought for. They were going to have to approach this a different way, although right now she wasn't sure exactly what that would look like.

She was pretty sure this was going to be a very long night.


	15. Chapter 15

_**This chapter contains two missing scenes. One is an expansion of the Deacon and Daphne scene, because we just need that. The other is what happens after the end of the episode, where Deacon and Rayna end up on Cash's front steps.**_

" _What if something bad happens?"_

" _It won't. I promise."_

Daphne just sat there, not making a move to get out of the truck. As much as he wanted to get back home and help Rayna find Maddie, Deacon found himself not ready to let Daphne go. He could leave her at the dance studio, but he knew he'd drive away and the picture in his head of her sad face and the tears in her eyes would have gnawed at his heart. He slid his hand down from her shoulder and he took her hand in his. "You don't have to go to dance class if you don't want to," he said.

She looked so relieved his heart nearly broke. "I don't?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Course not. What about we go get some hot chocolate or something?"

She looked conflicted. "Don't you want to go look for Maddie?" she asked.

He took a deep breath. He did, but in that moment he thought Daphne really needed someone. "Your mama's looking. I think we'll be okay for now. She'll call if she finds her." He tried to smile encouragingly. "How 'bout it?"

She bit her lip for a second, then nodded. "Okay." He squeezed her hand and then let it go, reaching for the key in the ignition. "Thanks, Deacon," she said, her voice small.

He smiled at her sadly. "No thanks necessary," he said.

* * *

He was sitting in the booth at the coffee shop, waiting for Daphne to go wash her hands. He thought she probably was checking her phone, but he decided to let it go. He took the opportunity to call Rayna. "Hey, baby," he said, when she answered. "Anything?"

"No." Her voice sounded a little shaky. "How's Daphne?"

"She's afraid Maddie's mad at her. She didn't seem like she wanted to go to her class, so we're getting hot chocolate."

"Thanks, babe. Make sure she knows this isn't her fault."

He could see Daphne exit from the back of the coffee shop. "She's on her way back to the table, so I gotta go. Call me if you hear anything," he said.

"I will."

He disconnected just as Daphne slid back into the bench across from him. She took a sip of her hot chocolate and then she sat, looking pensive, as though she were trying to decide what to say. She finally looked at him, her eyes filled with sorrow. "Is it true that I'm holding Maddie back?" she asked.

He screwed up his face. "What? Why would you think that?"

She took a deep breath. "I heard Cash say that to her."

He scowled. "Cash don't know nothing," he said angrily. "Don't listen to nothing that she says." He breathed out. "And it ain't true anyway."

She looked at him sadly. "But she didn't want to be signed to Highway 65 with me. She told me Mom only did it to control her." She choked on a sob. "Not because she wanted _us_."

He reached across the table and grabbed Daphne's hand. He could feel the bile rise in his throat at how Cash had twisted everything so much for Maddie. "That ain't true, Daphne. Your mama and I talked about that together and I know it ain't true. She wanted both of you, because the two of you together are special."

Daphne still looked glum. "But I don't think Maddie wants to perform with me either. Every time I brought it up, she acted like I wasn't really any good."

Deacon scowled. He hated seeing Daphne feel like this. "Well, you know that ain't true. Remember when your mama let you and Maddie do sound check?" Daphne looked at him and nodded. "Y'all were awesome. _Both_ of you. That song wouldn't have been as good without you. And what about all the other times you two sang together. Like at the rehearsal dinner."

She shrugged. "But I messed up that time. I stopped singing because I was mad."

"Well, it don't matter. When you were singing you were great. And you and Maddie wrote that together, right?" Daphne nodded. "And you've written songs. You're good, sweet girl. Don't let anyone, especially Cash, tell you different."

She took a deep breath and then she looked down at her phone. "She still won't answer me," she said, her voice filled with sorrow.

He reached over again and grabbed her hands. She looked up at him. "Sweetie, I don't want you to blame yourself," he said. "She don't know you told me." He squeezed her hands. "Let's just enjoy the hot chocolate, okay?" He smiled encouragingly at her.

She looked at him for a moment, then smiled hesitantly. "I'm glad you're in our family," she said.

He bit the inside of his cheek to hold back the tears. "Me too, sweetheart," he said softly.

 _ **~nashville~**_

Deacon held Rayna as she cried softly, tears rolling down his own cheeks. Her hands grabbed his jacket and he let his own hand run down over her back. She didn't cry long. He felt her take a deep, shuddering breath and then she gently pushed back and looked up at him. "I can't stand here for one more second," she said, her voice soft and flat.

He nodded, taking her hand. "Let's go home, then," he said, and they walked down to the street. "Let me take you home, baby," he said, when they reached his truck.

She shook her head. "No. I can follow you."

He didn't argue with her. He'd seen, first, that dead look in her eyes, and now, the one that said she'd folded all that emotion up into a tightly wrapped box. The way she always did.

He'd seen that look too many times. He remembered it from the day Lamar died and he'd gone to check on her. He'd seen it at the accident site, the night she'd given back his ring. The night she'd stood on the stage in Chicago and missed her cue, after Teddy had asked her for a divorce. Too many times to count, when she'd found him drunk somewhere. And the night Lamar had kicked her out of the house, when she was the same age as Maddie.

He kept his eye on the rear view mirror, checking to be sure she was following. He felt like his heart was in his throat and he was struggling himself with his emotions. The coldness in Maddie's eyes, the way she'd practically spat out the word "emancipating", gave him cold chills. He thought he'd known Cash, thought she was a good role model for his daughter. It made him sick to his stomach to think he'd encouraged that.

When they finally pulled into the drive, he jumped out of his truck and walked back to where she sat, still looking like her world had fallen apart. Which it kind of had, for both of them. He felt heartsick as he looked at her, her hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. She looked over at him then and her face crumbled into tears yet again. He pulled open the door and reached for her. "Come on inside, baby," he whispered gently, as he helped her out of the car and then reached back in for her purse.

She let him guide her for a couple of steps, then stopped and turned to him, clutching at his sleeves. "What are we gonna do?" she wailed.

He pulled her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her, tears rolling down his own face. "I don't know, baby," he whispered brokenly. "I don't know."

* * *

She'd finally stopped crying and now she seemed almost withdrawn. That deadness was back in her eyes and her movements were slow and hesitant. He himself was devastated at the things Maddie had said, but he focused on Rayna. He found her a long-sleeved t-shirt and yoga pants. She sat on the bench in their bedroom and he knelt down and slid her boots off her feet. He pulled her sweater off and helped her put on the t-shirt. She looked at him and then sighed deeply, finally standing and changing from her jeans to the yoga pants. Then she turned away from him and walked towards the bed, as though she were in a trance.

She stood next to her side of the bed, as though she wasn't quite sure what to do, and he finally walked over and pulled down the covers. Then, taking her hand, he helped her into bed, covering her to her waist with the sheet and comforter. He kissed her gently on the forehead and then walked over to his closet to change. He glanced over at her just before he went through the door and his heart broke. She had her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers over and over, breathing in and out slowly.

When he was alone in the dark closet, he broke down in silent sobs, his hands clenching the shelf. He didn't understand how they'd gotten from Maddie being scared around him to this. He didn't understand what hold Cash had over her, what spell she'd cast over his daughter that had turned her into someone he and Rayna no longer knew. He didn't know how he was going to get through this himself, much less comfort his wife, but he knew he needed to figure it out fast.

He changed into a t-shirt and sweats and wiped his face. He walked to the door of the closet and took a deep breath, then walked over to the bed. Rayna looked up at him, her eyes red and her face pale. He slid under the covers and leaned back against the pillows. "Why did she do this?" she asked, her voice shaky.

He shook his head. "I don't know. Cash done something." He clenched his jaw.

She swallowed. "I just don't understand, Deacon," she said. "I don't understand this emancipation thing. What are we going to do?"

He slid closer to her and put his arm around her. "We're gonna have to figure out some way to talk to her, baby," he said. "Some way to get her to listen."

She shook her head and fidgeted with her hands again. "I don't know if she's gonna listen. _I_ didn't, when I was her age." She leaned her head back on the pillow and looked at him. "All I wanted to do was protect her, not have her go through what I went through. Smooth the way." She sighed. "Now I don't know what to do."

He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "She's just mad right now," he said, not sure he believed that, but feeling like he needed to say it anyway. "I bet tomorrow she'll think different after she's slept on it."

She was silent for a minute. Then she turned slightly, putting her arm around his waist. "But what if she doesn't, babe?" She leaned her head against his chest and he slid his arm down around her back, holding her close. "What if she doesn't?"


	16. Chapter 16

_**This chapter has three missing scenes, all linked to the benefit show. The first actually takes place before this episode and is Rayna and Deacon talking about the benefit – planning the event, talking about performing together, and having the girls perform as well. Back when all was well in the Claybourne/Jaymes/Conrad household. The second scene is Rayna and Daphne, before the event starts. And the last scene is immediately following the end of the show, after Rayna sings on stage.**_

 _ **Thanks to Rachel for the idea for the first scene.**_

Rayna reached for her phone to call Deacon. "Hey, babe," she said when he answered, a smile on her face.

"Hey," he said. "What's up?"

"So I finalized the details for the fundraising concert for FosterMore."

He grinned. "Tell me about it."

"It's going to be at the Ryman, on February 23. So far I've got Pam Tillis, Vince and Amy, and Martina. I'm waiting to hear from a few more, but I think we're gonna have a great line up." She smiled happily. She was excited to get involved with this cause. It made her sad to think that someone like Vita could have benefited from this and slipped through the cracks, but it made her feel like she was doing something constructive.

"That sounds amazing, baby," he said. "I knew you could whip this up in no time."

She laughed. "Well, I've got something for you to do too. And the girls."

"Can't wait to hear it," he said.

She smiled into the phone. This was going to be a wonderful family moment for them. "I'll see you at home tonight then and I'll tell y'all all about it."

* * *

Rayna handed plates and silverware to Deacon. As he set the table, she pulled out the cartons of Chinese take-out and put them in the middle of the table. "So, I'm thinking that the girls could sing at the benefit show, maybe even write a song especially for the event. Maddie seems to be in the songwriting groove these days, so I'm betting she could whip something up in no time," she said.

He smiled. "I'm sure she'd be glad to do it. And those two haven't sung together in a while. It'll be nice to hear them on stage again."

"Yes, it will," she said with a smile. Then she wrinkled her nose. "I'm thinking I'd like to try and write something myself. Kind of a signature song."

He walked over to her and kissed her. "That sounds like a great idea," he said. "If you want any help writing that song, let me know." He winked.

She smiled coyly. "Thanks, but I think I want to try to do this one on my own."

"I understand," he said. He leaned in and kissed her again. "Just know the offer still stands."

She ran her hand up and down his arm. "There is one thing you _can_ help me with. Will you go out on stage with me?" she asked, smiling at him shyly.

He ran his hand around her waist and pulled her in close. "You bet I will," he said, with a chuckle. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

She put her arms around his neck and leaned into him. "I still think we need to write that album together," she said, giving him a kiss. "Then maybe a little tour or something."

He grinned. "I do miss that," he said. "And I think I'd like it a lot better getting to be back in the artist's suite again."

She laughed. "Yeah, it's sure been a while since we've been able to do that," she said. She slid her hands down to his face and pulled him to her for a deeper kiss. When they heard the throat clearing behind them, they let go of each other's lips, smiling as they did.

"Children in the room," Daphne announced, and they turned to face her and Maddie as they approached the table.

Rayna slid her hands down Deacon's arms, but didn't let him go. "We were just talking about the two of you," she said.

Maddie rolled her eyes, but smirked. "Yeah, that's what that looked like," she said.

Rayna stepped back and walked towards the table. "Actually we were," she said. "I was telling your father about the FosterMore benefit concert and that I'd like for the two of you to perform."

Maddie scrunched up her face. "What's FosterMore?" she asked.

Rayna took Maddie's hand. "It's an organization that provides awareness about foster care and this concert will raise money to benefit the many foster care organizations and foundations across the country." She smiled at Maddie and then Daphne. "I thought y'all might like to sing that night. At the Ryman. Maybe even write a song for the event."

Maddie smiled. "I think that would be awesome." She looked at Daphne. "We'll totally write something."

* * *

That night, as she lay in bed wrapped up in Deacon's arms, Rayna felt a deep sense of contentment. It felt like her family was finally coming together the way she'd always dreamed it would, plus she'd found something to focus some attention on that she felt passionate about. But most importantly, she felt an incredible joy in finally sharing her life with the man who lay beside her. She'd spent so many years either struggling to hold them together or struggling to hide her feelings. She felt such release, being able to love him freely and not have to hide anything anymore.

As though he sensed her thoughts, he shifted slightly, running his hand down over her hip and leg. His lips found hers as he touched her in that way he knew drove her crazy. "Oh, babe," she moaned against his lips as she welcomed his touch on her. And then she gave herself over to the way he felt and the things he was doing to her, as though there was nothing else in the world.

 _ **~nashville~**_

Rayna walked up to Daphne's bedroom door. Her daughter was sitting at her vanity. "Hey, sweetheart," she said softly. Daphne turned to look at her. "You ready? We should leave in a few minutes. It was snowing a little earlier and I'd like to give us some extra time."

Daphne got up and turned to face her mother. "Is Deacon going with us?" she asked.

Rayna shook her head. "No, he's going to meet us there. He needed to pick up some equipment." She gave her daughter a little smile. "Do you have your things ready?"

Daphne nodded and walked over to her bed. She picked up the garment bag. "Everything's in here. Deacon has my guitar." She stood there for a moment and then looked sadly at her mother. "Is Maddie going to be there?"

Rayna took a deep breath. She didn't want to tell Daphne she'd just seen Maddie and was hopeful she'd gotten through to her. "I don't know, sweetheart," she said, instead. "I hope so, but I think we'll just have to wait and see." She gestured to her. "Come on, let's get going."

* * *

They were silent at first on the drive downtown. Rayna's mind was rolling over and over the conversation she'd had with Maddie outside Cash's house. She'd sensed a little break in her steadfast rush to this emancipation thing and she hoped she'd said enough so that her daughter would rethink her position. She thought back to her own experience at sixteen. Hers was different in many ways, though. While she certainly understood Maddie's desire to perform, she herself had not had record deals thrown at her at that age. She knew that was a siren call to a young girl who wanted nothing more than to be a star, but she also knew that the road to success was fraught with danger. Record labels could easily intimidate and exploit an artist, particularly a young artist like Maddie. And if the only person she had speaking on her behalf was Cash, Rayna's fear was that Maddie wouldn't be protected.

 _Oh, my foolish girl, don't you see that all I want to do is nurture you. Give you everything I didn't have. Help you do this the right way._ She felt the pressure of tears at the back of her eyes. She had no idea how they'd gotten to this place so quickly. _What did we miss?_

She looked over at Daphne, who was staring out the side window as they sped along West End. "Are you okay, sweet girl?" she asked. Daphne nodded, but didn't say anything. "Are you going over the words in your head?" She smiled a little.

Daphne turned and looked at her then, smiling back. She nodded. "Yeah, a little. But I'm more nervous about the guitar." She sighed. "Deacon helped me this afternoon though."

Rayna raised her eyebrows. "He did?"

Daphne nodded. "Yeah. He's really good, you know. As a teacher. I learned a lot from him just in a couple hours."

Rayna smiled. "Yeah? Well, I'm glad you asked him to help you."

"I didn't ask him. He offered." She sighed. "I was having a really hard time and he came by and offered to help me." She looked at Rayna intently. "I know he was really worried about Maddie. And he probably didn't want to spend all that time with me when he could be doing something about her. But I was really glad he did that."

Rayna felt a tightening in her chest. "He loves you, baby girl. And he knows how sad you are about Maddie. I'm glad he was there for you."

"He actually really helped me a lot. I still hope Maddie comes, because I don't really want to do this by myself, but he really made me feel like I could do this." She smiled shyly at her mother. "I'm glad he's part of our family, Mom."

The tears she'd felt earlier because of Maddie now turned into tears at Daphne's words. She had really needed something positive tonight, never expecting it would come from something as simple as Deacon helping Daphne feel better about herself. She quickly dabbed at the tears that threatened to roll down her cheeks. She smiled at her daughter. "I'm glad you feel that way, sweetheart." She reached over the console and rubbed Daphne's arm. "I feel the same way."

 _ **~nashville~**_

Rayna didn't even hear the applause. She didn't see the faces of the audience. All she heard were the last words Maddie said to her, when she'd been so sure her daughter had come back home. _I'm not._ All she could see was the heartbroken face of her husband, who was comforting her distraught younger daughter. Her own heart was breaking and she wanted to collapse right there on the stage. But she couldn't. This was her fundraiser and she had to finish it. She had reach deep down inside and find the strength to wrap this up, with a smile on her face that would cover up her pain. When this was all over she could let herself be wrapped up in Deacon's arms, which was the only place she wanted to be right at this moment.

She took a deep breath and looked back out at the crowd, the faces looking up at her expectantly, the applause dying down. She put on her best performance smile and nodded. "Thank you so much," she said, hearing the quiver in her voice. She took another deep breath. "Thank you so much," she continued, her voice stronger, "for coming out tonight for this great event. Thank you for supporting this worthy cause. Special thanks to my wonderful friends who supported us tonight. Pam Tillis, Vince Gill, Amy Grant, Martina McBride, Cam, Ty Herndon, High Valley, Dierks Bentley, and Brett Eldredge. Weren't they amazing?" She smiled a smile she didn't feel and raised up her hands to lead the applause. "I appreciate y'all so much." The crowd applauded, with whistles and cheers filling the room. When they had quieted down yet again, she continued. "And my daughters. I was so proud to have them here." She could feel her voice breaking again and willed herself to finish. "Before you leave tonight, please take a look at the merchandise out in the lobby, all for a good cause." She took another deep breath and forced her smile wider. "Thanks again." She raised her arm and waved at the crowd. "Be safe," she whispered.

She put the microphone back on the stand, gave one last smile and wave, and then turned to walk off the stage, as the tears started to slide down her face. Her eyes locked onto Deacon's as she headed for him and Daphne and his face mirrored her distress. When she reached him, he slid his arm around her as she buried her face in his shoulder and put her hand on Daphne's back. "Let's go home, baby," Deacon whispered to her. She looked up at him and nodded, unable to speak.

* * *

When they were at the artist's exit, Deacon's truck was waiting. Rayna felt him put his hand on the small of her back. "I want you and Daphne to ride home with me," he said. She looked up at him, seeing the sadness in his eyes reflecting her own, and she nodded.

On the ride home, she kept looking at Daphne, sitting in the back seat. She was sitting behind Deacon, just staring out the window. Whenever they passed by a streetlight, Rayna could see the wetness of her daughter's tears. She not only felt an aching sadness about Maddie's decision, but a tiny flicker of anger was forming deep inside her over the impact on Daphne. Her heart had been breaking each time she'd looked over to see Deacon comforting Daphne, who seemed inconsolable. For Maddie to have shown up to sing with Daphne and then leave her anyway seemed unnecessarily cruel.

When they arrived home, Rayna started for Daphne, but her daughter pulled away and ran into the house and upstairs. As she stood watching her, Deacon came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I think we need to give her some space," he said.

She turned to look at him, tears in her eyes. "I don't know what to do," she said. "I really thought I'd gotten through to her."

He took a deep breath, then put his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. "I don't know, baby," he said. "I don't know what to do either."

She had been on such a rollercoaster of emotions for the past two days and, all of a sudden, she felt the bottom drop out. She leaned into Deacon's chest and sobbed, as he held her tightly against him and cried with her. _How are we ever going to get through this? What can I do to fix this?_ It had been a long time since she'd felt this loss of control and the thought of it simply overwhelmed her.


	17. Chapter 17

_**I'm sorry, y'all, but there just weren't any missing scenes that I could make happy at all, so this will be as dark as the episode. I'm focusing on Deacon's decision to go to see Frankie at the Beverly, as well as how Rayna reacts when she realizes he's not home. I really felt like I needed some sense of why Deacon would have made the decision he made, which was clearly a poor one, as well as how betrayed Rayna must have felt in that moment.**_

 _I'm gonna go upstairs._

 _I'll be up in a minute._

Deacon watched as Rayna walked out of the room. With each step she took, he found himself sinking farther and farther into an abyss of hurt. As he stood in the kitchen, he thought back over the day and how quickly it had devolved into probably the worst day of his life. Not only had he been betrayed by someone he trusted, but his own daughter had listened to all that. He closed his eyes as he stood at the counter, his fists clenched.

In his head echoed every single question that attorney had asked him. _Is it true you got into an altercation with Maddie's father, and then-Mayor, Teddy Conrad, in front of city hall?_ He winced as he felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach all over again. _Is it also true you attacked a member of the Revel Kings backstage at a concert when you were a member of that band?_ He clenched his jaw as he remembered how scared Scarlett had been. _Is it true you got into an altercation with Luke Wheeler?_ He lowered his head. _Did you or did you not drunkenly give your then-girlfriend and now-wife a black eye in the early 90's?_ He felt tears fill his eyes. _Is it true you once choked Coleman Carlisle in an alcoholic rage?_ He hunched over. _And is it true you got into yet another altercation, punching a man in the parking lot of the Bluebird?_ He lowered his head further, wincing again as the voice in his head seemed to get louder and more insistent with every question. _Is it true you were involved in a drunk driving accident that took the life of your friend Vince Jameson?_ He felt, again, like he'd been kicked in the stomach. _And is it true that you were the cause of a car accident that almost took the life of Maddie's mother, your wife, Rayna Jaymes?_ He _had_ felt responsible, even though he hadn't been at the wheel that night. He could feel the tears trickling down his face.

He opened his eyes and ran his hands down his face, wet with tears. He'd trusted Frankie, told him everything when he'd become his sponsor, all in the supposed safety of the AA relationship. He hadn't felt this betrayed since Rayna had admitted she'd lied to him about Maddie. But at least in her defense, she'd done it to protect their daughter and not out of some bitter spite. His heart hurt then as he thought, again, about Maddie. About the look on her face as that attorney had asked him all those questions, those questions he had no choice but to answer yes to.

Yes, Rayna's attorney had walked him through all the details Maddie's attorney had no interest in. That he was drunk when he'd tried to go after Teddy. That Cy had tried to rape Scarlett. That Luke had come into his house and had insulted Rayna. That he hadn't been driving the night Vince was killed, that he actually hadn't been in the truck at all. And that what happened with Cole and what happened with Rayna had been when he was drunk. No excuses, of course, but no longer out of context.

 _Rayna._ He'd hated the look on her face almost as much as he'd hated Maddie's. At least hers had been one of compassion and hurt for his pain. She'd been as sucker-punched as he was at the turn things had taken. He just didn't understand why Maddie had done this.

 _Maddie._ He bit his lip and tilted his head back as the tears threatened again. In his mind he saw all those moments with her as though he were a dying man seeing a film of his life. The afternoon she'd showed up on his porch and told him she thought he was her father. Talking to her on the phone the day after she'd run off from the gala. Singing for her at the Bluebird. Teaching her the guitar. Writing with her and performing together. Buying that dresser that was in her room at his house. The first time she called him Dad. Fishing at the cabin. Playing guitar for her and Daphne when they made their Opry debut. Dancing with her on his wedding day.

He leaned on the counter and put his head in his hands. _Why? Why did this happen?_ He still had no real idea why Frankie's anger and bitterness towards him was so overwhelming. He didn't understand why Frankie was so intent on supporting Cash pulling Maddie away from him and Rayna. How many times had they talked in the past about his struggles to connect with Cash and how grateful he was to finally have a relationship with her? Would he really have undone it all just to hang on to her? He shook his head, confused about all of it.

 _Frankie._ Quite honestly, he'd been blown away at Frankie's response to the success of the Beverly. When he'd offered to buy in, Frankie had seemed ecstatic. He'd just talked about how he was on the doorstep of bankruptcy. It had never been his intent to overshadow his friend, but he would never have thought Frankie's bitterness would have led to this.

He started towards the stairs, to find Rayna, but he stopped. He wanted to understand, _needed_ to understand. Needed to force Frankie to acknowledge that he'd betrayed their friendship and the sanctity of the sponsor relationship. He knew Rayna would tell him not to do this, to stand down. But he just couldn't.

He hesitated just a moment longer and then he made up his mind. He picked up his keys and walked out the door.

 _ **~nashville~**_

Rayna didn't know how long she'd laid there in Maddie's bed. This had been the worst day of her life. _How did we get here? Did I hold on too tight? Did I not talk to Maddie enough about her dreams?_ She wondered about that. It seemed like the last three years had been one complication after another. There was her separation and divorce from Teddy, Maddie finding out about Deacon, the accident, the almost-wedding to Luke, and then Deacon's cancer. _Was I too caught up in my own life to pay enough attention to my daughter's?_ She felt the tears again as she contemplated the fact that she might have missed the signals that would have told her to hold on tighter.

Maddie was so like her though. So headstrong and impulsive. She had tried giving her daughter a taste of what her dream would look like. Both of her daughters, actually. She thought that was the right thing to do, that it would show them she believed in them and wanted only the best for them. Signing them to Highway 65 had been a leap of faith for her, one she had not taken lightly, and it had pained her deeply that Maddie thought it wasn't real.

But what could she do now? They'd laid it all out there in court. She'd felt much more confident about their chances before Maddie's lawyer had put Deacon on the stand. She had not seen that coming, could not understand why Maddie had gone there. She sat up then and frowned. She'd thought Deacon was coming upstairs, but she was still alone. She slid over to the side of the bed and got up.

He was devastated, she knew that. He'd tried to put on his best face – for her – but she knew he was dying inside. Sitting there, listening to that lawyer pound away at him, with all those damning situations. Some of them twisted truths, for sure, but even though he'd had the chance to explain, she knew he was heartbroken. As was she. She walked down to their bedroom and changed clothes. He wasn't there, so she thought he was probably in the music room and she headed in that direction.

But the music room was dark, empty, when she opened the door. She called out anyway. "Deacon?" She frowned a little, wondering where he could be. She headed down the hall and into the kitchen. "Babe?" she called out. "Hey, babe, you coming up?" The house was eerily quiet. Too quiet. It felt chillingly, ominously empty. She felt a knot form in her stomach.

As she looked around, her anxiety level started to ratchet up. She didn't see his keys on the counter and, in a panic, she raced to the back door. Her heart sank, as she saw that his truck was missing. "Deacon, where are you?" she choked out. She hurried over to pick up her phone and called his number. It went straight to voice mail. "Deacon, where are you? Call me please." She tried to stay calm, not wanting to think the worst.

She waited, then called again. Still voice mail. She started pacing, not sure what to do, scared he'd gone to a bar. Or worse. She couldn't decide if she should go out and try to find him or wait. But she had no idea where he would have gone and she didn't want to not be here when he came home, if it was really not something to worry about. But she didn't think that was the case, deep down.

She tried again. _You got Deacon. Go ahead and leave your message._ Tears were filling her eyes. Something was very, very wrong and now she was terrified. "Deacon, please, answer your phone. You're scaring the hell out of me. Where are you? Please." She sat on the stool at the counter and put her head down and cried.

* * *

When the phone rang, she answered without looking to see who it was. "Deacon?" she cried, her voice shaking.

There was a pause and then she heard, "Hello, this call will be recorded and monitored." It was an automated call. She closed her eyes. It wasn't the first time she'd gotten a call like this. "I have a call from" and then she heard Deacon state his name. She wanted to throw up. "…an inmate from the Criminal Justice Center. Press one to accept, two to decline." Her hand was shaking and she wanted to throw the phone. She looked at the number pad and, after hesitating a second, pressed two. She held the phone to her ear. "Hello?" she said, her voice flat.

She could hear him breathing on the other end. "Rayna, I'm so sorry," he said finally.

"What are you doing in jail?" she asked, trying hard to keep from screaming.

"I went to see Frankie," he started.

"Damn it, Deacon," she interrupted. She closed her eyes and breathed in. She could feel the tears in her eyes, but she was also furious. She could hear him on the other end. It sounded like he was crying. "I'll be there when I can," she said. Then she disconnected.


	18. Chapter 18

_**It's with a very heavy heart that I share this missing scene. I'd already decided on it, but now it kind of fits what I suspect are all our sad hearts. So this is a Deacon-centric missing scene, leading up to the AA meeting and then what happens between the time he leaves and when he arrives at his house and contemplates throwing everything away on a bottle of whiskey.**_

He was here kind of out of habit. Ever since the last time he'd gotten sober – all those years ago, now, and not counting that one lapse – he'd vowed never to go more than three days without going to a meeting. Of course, in the beginning, he'd gone every day. Sometimes more than once a day. It had been a lifeline for so long, a way to stay strong, to focus on how, if you worked at it, everything would get better.

For a long time he had mostly believed that. He'd gotten sober and worked hard at it and Rayna had invited him back into her band. Even though she was married to someone else and had a family, they had reconnected as friends, and staying sober had helped them weather all the bumpiness of that road. He'd stayed sober and he'd made a life for himself, writing songs and playing his music and being in Rayna's band. And even when that blew up, he'd stayed sober and moved on.

Things had gotten trickier though, once he'd found out about Maddie. It had been harder to feel like everything would get better. As much as he'd loved being a dad to Maddie, it had pulled him and Rayna farther and farther apart. She'd gotten rightfully skittish again after the accident, but it hadn't seemed to work itself out this time. Things _didn't_ get better. But he'd gotten back on the horse and stayed sober, watching that better life dangle just out of his grip. Or at least what he thought would be a better life.

Then one day, it all seemed to turn around. Not when he'd exactly expected it and not under the best of circumstances. But as he'd struggled with his own mortality, there she was, grabbing on to him and pulling him in to her. This time they were really going to make it work. And they had, not without plenty of ups and downs, but the day they'd gotten married had felt like it had all been worth it. Every struggle, every difficult day, every fight, every hurdle overcome, had led to things getting better.

He frowned. Turned out it was a myth. He heard it, or some variation of it, every time he came to a meeting. He'd said it himself. As he listened to person after person share their story, and some take on "everything will get better", he found himself feeling more bitter and deceived than encouraged. Because Maddie had turned her back on him, saying she was afraid of living with him. Rayna had left, without talking to him at all about what had happened. And Scarlett's advice – to try to be genuinely sorry – had backfired on him. Nothing was getting better.

"Why do we keep saying that?" he heard himself say. "Things are gonna get better, why do we keep saying that? I mean, everybody in this room's said that, no one more than me. I mean, that's why we get sober, so things'll get better. But I lost my sister, my daughter, and my wife. And I'm about to lose my bar." He shook his head. "I have tried like hell to be a good man, to walk the straight and the narrow, and none of it mattered, 'cause I lost it all. So you gonna tell me now that things are all gonna get better? That's a lie." He looked around the room and suddenly wasn't sure why he was even there. He stood up and turned toward the door. "I gotta go, I'm outta here."

He walked out, even as the leader called after him, telling him they were "here for him". _What a bunch of bullshit._ He kept walking.

* * *

He stormed out into the parking lot and got in his truck. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel and made an angry noise. Then he propped his elbow on the window sill and rubbed his face. Nothing felt like it had gone right since Beverly died. He'd felt such tremendous guilt about that and such anger that it had ended the way it had. That was the beginning of it all, when Maddie had watched him destroy the room he'd fixed up for his sister, for when she came home.

He'd battled his jealousy when Rayna worked on Markus Keen's album with him, missing the intimacy he had once shared with her in a recording studio. Even the day of the wedding, when it seemed like they'd finally worked through all the nonsense, he'd wondered if Rayna wouldn't be better off without him, the way she'd thought when she'd cut him loose all those years ago. She'd always deserved better, he'd thought, and maybe she still did.

He sat back against the headrest and closed his eyes. He'd made a mess of things, that much was true, by going to the Beverly to have it out with Frankie. He'd ended up in jail, they'd lost Maddie, and Rayna had turned away, just like she'd done back in the days when he was a drunk. She'd come to bail him out of jail, like she'd done before, and then she could hardly look at him. She'd told him she was going out on that tour they'd talked about, before all this happened, taking Daphne and Tandy with her.

" _What do you want me to do?" he asked._

 _She looked at him, her expression unreadable. "I don't really know, Deacon. And right now, I don't care. I need to get away and think about this. All of this."_

 _He felt a lump in his throat. "I'm sorry, baby," he said, for what felt like the hundredth time. "Just tell me what you want me to do."_

 _She closed her eyes and shook her head. "You're always sorry, Deacon." She opened her eyes. "And yet nothing ever changes."_

 _He felt like he'd been kicked in the gut as he listened to her repeat Maddie's words. "Baby, please," he begged, reaching out for her hands._

 _She stepped back, out of his reach. "I just can't do this right now," she said. "You're going to have to give me some time." Then she turned and walked away._

He felt the tears trail down his cheeks. She had left, without a kiss, without a hug, without anything. He'd ended up going back to his old house, unable to be in that big house that was supposed to be where they were all a family. His family was gone now, all of them.

He and Rayna talked every day, but it was not a comforting kind of talk. It felt like something that was required of them, at least until it no longer was. He felt his chest tighten and he brushed away the tears. He put the key in the ignition and started the truck. He didn't know where he was going until he got there. And then went inside and bought a bottle of whiskey.

He walked into his empty house. It felt wrong, somehow, to be back here, but he didn't really know where else to go. He didn't know where he fit anymore, didn't know that he had another place to call home. What had she said? That she didn't know what their relationship was now? Well, he didn't either. He figured he'd have to wait to see what she decided and he wasn't sure he was ready for what that answer was going to be.

In his mind, he'd lost her. She was disappointed in him – again – and he just didn't know how to stop being the screw-up in her life. _She probably is better off without me. All she sees when she looks at me is disappointment. And now I screwed it all up, messed up the best thing I ever had, only this time I broke up our family._ He didn't see how he could come back from that and her silence over the last couple days seemed to confirm it.

He sat for a moment, twisting the wedding ring on his finger. The ring that had meant they'd finally figured how to be together. The ring she'd said was "forged in the fire of our love". He felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and reached for the brown paper sack covered bottle. He took the bottle out of the bag, contemplating what he was going to do. _Why not? What else do I have?_

As he twisted the cap off the bottle, his phone rang. He stopped for a second, weighing the decision to pick it up or not. Then he leaned forward, picking up the phone and turned it over. His hand shook as he stared into Rayna's face and saw her name on the screen. He felt a sense of relief wash over him and he set the bottle down.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Next to the last episode, next to the last missing scene, unless we get a reprieve from somewhere. Anyway, I decided to finish the scene from the last chapter with the phone call, since we didn't get it. And expand on the last scene where they're in bed together.**_

 _As he twisted the cap off the bottle, his phone rang. He stopped for a second, weighing the decision to pick it up or not. Then he leaned forward picking up the phone and turned it over. His hand shook as he stared into Rayna's face and saw her name on the screen. He felt a sense of relief wash over him and he set the bottle down._

"Hey," he said, a shaky smile on his face and tears in his eyes.

"Hey." She was quiet for a moment and he waited her out, instead of rushing in to say something. "I think you should come home. We really need to talk."

He sat back, closing his eyes, and felt the tears streak down his face. "You sure?" he asked, his voice shaking.

She didn't say anything for a moment. Then he heard her sigh. "We need to work through this. And I have an idea, but I want you to come home so we can talk about it."

"I'll be there," he said, and hung up. He set the phone back down on the coffee table and sat for a few minutes, leaning on his elbows, as he considered how perfect her timing had been. He looked at the bottle that sat next to him, the seal cracked, and then ran a hand over his mouth. He thought about how close he'd come to destroying everything, including pissing away the gift Beverly had died giving him.

He finally got up and took the bottle in the kitchen, emptying it into the sink, and then sliding it back into the paper bag and tossing it in the garbage can outside the kitchen door. Then he went back in his old bedroom and packed his clothes back into the duffle bag. Then he picked up the bag and his keys and walked out the front door, locking up the house, and headed for his truck.

* * *

When he walked into the kitchen, Rayna was sitting at the island. She looked up, but there was no welcoming smile, no look of happiness that he was back. He wasn't sure if it was that she was still upset with him or still grieving Maddie, or both. The wall was up, the one she pulled around herself when things got hard, the one he knew he couldn't get through until she was ready to let him. He set his bag on the floor and walked towards the island, but on the other side of where she sat.

Her eyes had followed him and when he was closer he saw they were red-rimmed and sad. "Where's Daphne?" he asked, unsure of how to start.

She raised her eyebrows. "At Simone's." She looked away for a moment and tapped her fingers on the counter. Then she looked back at him. "So, I made us an appointment with a therapist. For tomorrow."

He frowned. "A therapist?" he said, wondering what that was about. "Why do we need a therapist?"

She looked at him as though he was clueless. "Deacon, we've got a lot to work through. I'm still so angry at you that I'm struggling with where we go from here. And I don't think that's what I want, but I just don't know for sure. So I booked us a day long session with a therapist for tomorrow. To help us see what's there for us now."

He put his hand on his hip and breathed in, looking away from her. This wasn't what he'd expected and he wasn't at all sure he wanted to spend a whole day with a therapist. But he also didn't want to be apart from Rayna anymore, like he had been these last couple weeks. If this is what it took to work things out, he'd do it. He looked back and raised an eyebrow. "A whole day, though?" he asked.

She shrugged. "He's very good. Came highly recommended. And this is what he suggested. We'll meet with him together, then each of us separately, then together at the end."

"And that's it?"

"No, of course not. It's not going to get fixed in a day, but we need an intense session to get the ball rolling." She looked at him sharply. "Do you not want to do this?"

He put his hands on the counter and leaned forward against it. "Talking to someone about all this stuff seems an awful lot like what just got us into this. Telling someone my private thoughts and sharing. I mean, that all just got thrown in my face, as you recall."

Her face softened just for a moment. "This won't be the same. He's bound by professional ethics to keep all of it confidential. We can be as raw and honest as we need to be." She clasped her hands in front of her and leaned slightly forward. "I want us to do this, babe. I want us to figure it out. Don't you?"

He breathed in and then nodded. "Yeah, I do." He breathed out. "Okay. We'll do this."

 _ **~nashville~**_

He walked up the stairs and found her where he thought he would, curled up on Maddie's bed, with a picture of Maddie next to her. He knew she knew he was there – he could see her tense up, as he stood at the door. The therapy session had been tough and they had not really come home in a good place. He just watched her and finally she said, a terrifying sadness in her voice, "I want Maddie back. That's what I want."

He looked away from her, his heart hurting, and said, "Me too." He felt like he needed to say something else, but he wasn't quite sure what. Actually, that wasn't true. He knew what he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure she would be open to hearing it from him, under the circumstances, in the scope of how they'd always operated within their relationship, in the delicate emotional place where she was. He started to walk away and then he stopped. _This is where I need to let go of some of that guilt._

He turned back and walked to the door, leaning against the door jamb. He swallowed hard and then he breathed in. "You know what? I know I done the wrong thing and I accept that. I ain't gonna keep groveling at your feet about it though. We just gotta move on, Rayna, get past it. But you know what I think?" She turned and half sat up on Maddie's bed, frowning. He raised his eyebrows. "I think we need to move on past this too. We both want Maddie back, but the truth is, she ain't coming back. At least not right now. Maybe not ever. And it ain't what we want but it's the truth. And you know what else?"

She had turned completely around on the bed to face him and scowled. "What else?" she said angrily.

He looked at her and breathed in. "I think, even if she didn't get her emancipation, we'd lost her. She'd have done something else. But this was her way of breaking away." He looked away, with an ironic smile on his face. "Just like you did, Rayna. She's doing exactly what you did."

Rayna stared at him in disbelief. "That's ridiculous," she said.

He raised his eyebrows. "Which part?"

She got up off the bed and stood facing him, her face filled with anger. "That we'd lost her anyway. I don't think that's true," she said.

"Really? Rayna, she was lying, sneaking off, chasing her dream. Cash was filling her head with all kinds of stuff. Nothing we did or said was getting through to her. She'd made up her mind." He crossed his arms over his chest.

"So what are you saying? That it was inevitable?"

He shrugged. "Maybe."

She looked incredulous. "So is this what you wanted? For us to lose her?"

He scowled at her. "Course not. But maybe we shoulda listened more. Maybe _you_ shoulda listened more."

She raised her eyebrows. "So now you're blaming me?"

He shrugged again. "Why? Cause it's gotta be me? I get that you blame me for going over to the Beverly, and I took responsibility for that, but the damage was already done. Maybe you need to face up to the fact that she's gone and stop trying to control everything."

Rayna gasped and stormed out of the room, pushing past him. He hesitated for just a moment and then he followed her to their bedroom.

* * *

He sat on the bench at the end of the bed as he waited for her to come out of her dressing area. He looked back at her over his shoulder and she scowled at him as she slid under the covers in the bed and crossed her arms over her chest. He worked his lip for a minute. He knew he'd needed to shock her to get her to listen, but he was still angry too.

He cleared his throat. "I think the only way we get through this is to stop wallowing in it. I done that kind of thing all my life, beating myself up, taking it all on me. But we gotta let it go somehow. Maddie chose this."

Rayna frowned. "I can't do that, Deacon. I can't not do anything. _I_ just can't turn my back on our daughter…."

He shook his head. "That's not what I'm saying, Rayna. I'm saying we gotta forgive ourselves for the choices Maddie made. We ain't ever gonna figure out our relationship if we don't. Isn't that what Dr. Voris said?"

She turned her face away from him. "I have to keep fighting, Deacon. I would never forgive myself if I didn't. I don't understand why it's so hard for you to understand that."

He stood up and she looked up at him. He put his hands on his hips and frowned. "Why is it so hard for you to listen to me?" he said, feeling frustrated. "This is what I was talking about. _You_ gotta make all the decisions, be in control about everything in our lives. We gotta do this together, Rayna, or it ain't ever gonna work. You can't keep shutting me out!"

She scowled and looked away. He lifted his hands in defeat, shaking his head. He didn't know what to do. It felt like they were farther apart than they'd even been when they walked into the therapist's office that morning. Without another word, he went and changed and got into bed. He lay on his side, turned away from her. As close as she was, he'd never felt farther away from her than he did at that moment.

* * *

They both lay there, unable to sleep. She thought back over the day, all the anger and recriminations, the things they'd said to each other, both before and after the individual sessions. She thought about what he'd said to her when he'd found her in Maddie's room. She knew he was right, she was mired in the sadness of Maddie being gone. She'd told Daphne she wouldn't be sad forever, but she was beginning to think she didn't know how not to be.

She thought about what Deacon had said, about her needing to be in control. She'd listened to him, during the therapy session, talk about how marginalized he'd felt in her life, how much he felt like he'd had to wait for her to decide who they were, as a couple and as just friends. How long he'd waited, for her, for her to make the choices that would guide their lives together, for her approval. She'd dismissed it, just as she had in the past, but as she lay there in the dark, his tense and angry body mere inches from hers, she considered that maybe she had done exactly that.

 _It was never my intention. I was just protecting my heart. And yours._ But she had acknowledged that inevitability of the two of them. She remembered, when she was so afraid he was going to die, telling him that she couldn't imagine her future without him in it. And that was the truth. She could no more let him go than stop breathing. She didn't want to. She couldn't navigate the rest of her life without him. _He's right. We need to figure out this together before we can help either of our girls. If we don't do this together, we'll fail. I can't let him walk away again._

She turned on her side, then, towards him, and slowly moved her hand to his back. She could feel him flinch just a little, but she moved her hand to his arm and he started to relax. After a moment, she felt his hand cover hers, and she breathed out. He finally turned to face her and she could see the hurt and pain in his eyes in the dim light. She put her hand on his cheek. "You're right," she said softly. "I can't do this without you."

 _ **For those of you that might, after reading this, have wished I'd done something with the therapy session – because there was**_ _ **lots**_ _ **missing there – I considered it and then decided not to. I've already written a Deyna therapy story (check out 'Fighting For Us', if you're interested) and didn't really want to go back to that again.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**So this is the last missing scene from season 4. Maybe the last missing scene ever, although I hope not. I did feel like the resolution of Maddie's story happened too quickly and too easily, so I am looking to add some context to that, based on the scene we didn't get after Deacon told Maddie it was her choice who to leave with. I'm also adding a scene after the end, once Deacon and Rayna get back to their hotel room. Thanks to Rachel Wilder for that suggestion.**_

 _ **Hope y'all enjoy and #BringBackNashville!**_

Deacon stood on the side of the stage and watched Rayna and Daphne walk through the details of the event that night with the organizer. They'd already been through sound check and were ready to go. As he watched Rayna, his heart felt heavy. While their therapy sessions seemed to be helping them talk to each other more effectively, he still felt like they were miles apart, and he thought she felt the same way.

Conversation about anything other than themselves felt more natural and comfortable, but if they veered into the personal, which they didn't do often, it still felt hard and awkward. He hated it, truthfully. They'd never had trouble talking to each other. Hell, they could even argue with each other – heatedly – and still fall back into each other's arms, but not these days. _It's a process._ That's what Dr. Voris kept saying, and he wanted to believe that, but he hated the distance that was still there.

Although she said otherwise, Rayna still blamed him, at least a little, for Maddie's being gone. He knew that. _If only you hadn't gone to the Beverly that night,_ her eyes always seemed to be saying. She'd told him, again, that if he hadn't done that, she felt sure the judge was going to rule against the emancipation. He'd reminded her, again, that Maddie was determined to get away and would have done it anyway. And she'd shrug and acknowledge that it was probably true, but it never seemed to change the story for them.

Some things were better, though. They were sleeping in the same bed, spending time together, and talking to each like rational adults. They were trying to be good parents together for Daphne, trying to give her the semblance of a real family. Rayna had finally stopped looking and acting so sad all the time and they actually sometimes could laugh together, although it always felt like when they realized what they were doing, they'd stop. They hadn't been able to get over the intimacy hump, though, and he was feeling the stress.

They'd spent much of the couple days they were in New York tracking Maddie's movements. They weren't able to reach her, but they hoped, somehow, they could cross paths with her. He had been concerned, after Rayna had recounted her experience with Vince Pierce, the uber-successful producer who apparently was working with Maddie, and more than a little sick to his stomach. It had given him cold chills to think about someone like that preying on his daughter.

 _His daughter._ He did still think about her that way, despite how things had gone down in court. He still loved her, but he'd felt betrayed in court. His head told him that Frankie and Cash had encouraged her to say the things she had on the stand and to allow the line of questioning that had ultimately led to his confrontation with Frankie. But his heart knew she'd participated, willingly, if not enthusiastically. It hurt him to his core. But he would still fight to get her back. He wanted to make it up to Rayna, somehow, if he could.

He looked down at his phone again. He was learning about all kinds of social media he'd never heard of or had spent very little time on. Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram. He was scrolling through pictures on Instagram when he saw it. A picture of Maddie and Cash, with Vince, and a caption that indicated they were headed to an important party at Vince's house. He checked the time stamp on the picture and it was barely thirty minutes earlier.

He looked up at Rayna, still deep in conversation. He knew he should talk to her, especially after what had happened with Frankie, but he didn't feel like he had time to waste. So he quickly found Bucky, telling him he had something important to take care of and to have Colin fill in for him. And then he left the arena and jumped in a cab.

* * *

It had been surprisingly easy to get into Vince's house. No one seemed to be paying attention and he walked in, looking quickly for any sign of Maddie or Vince. He didn't see either one and asked someone where Vince was. He was pointed in the direction of the basement and he headed down, calling out for Maddie as he ran.

* * *

Maddie looked at him, as though she were unsure what to do. "It's your choice," he said, although what he really wanted to do was grab her up and run out of the house with her. But he was determined to rewrite this story and he forced himself to let her decide. She turned back to look at Cash, who was holding on to Maddie's hand, begging her to stay. He held his breath. She _had_ been scared – he'd seen the look on her face when he'd entered the room and she'd run to him. But she was also confused. _Choose right,_ he thought. _Please choose right._

She took a deep breath and looked down at Cash's hand, holding tightly to hers. She hesitated just a second and then pulled her hand away. She turned to him. "Please get me out of here," she whispered. He swallowed hard, then put his arm around her shoulders and led her out of Vince's house and into the waiting cab.

He kept his arm around her as they headed for the arena. She was shaking, her arms around her waist, as she leaned into him. He cleared his throat. "Did he hurt you, Maddie?" he asked, holding his breath.

She shook her head. "No." She looked up at him then. "But he was going to." She breathed in. "How did you know where I was?"

"I saw your picture on that Instagram thing," he said. "And your mama had told me about the kind of person that guy was…."

She nodded. "I saw her letter. I was trying to get away, but he was…he was holding me down." Her face crumpled and she burst into tears. "Thank you for finding me," she wailed. He wanted to cry himself but he just kept his arm around her, holding her close.

She curled into his side and grabbed the lapel of his jacket, burying her face in his chest. His other arm was resting on the window ledge of the cab and he reached over to rub his hand over his mouth. His emotions were racing. Rayna would be annoyed when she realized he'd left without telling her. Again. Actually, she'd probably raise up that wall, certain he'd gone right back to his normal behavior. Exactly what she'd chastised him over, multiple times. But he hadn't wanted to get her hopes up, in case he couldn't find the house.

Or he didn't get there in time.

Like everything else he did in his life, though, he had done this for her. He knew that eventually, with Dr. Voris's help, they would get back to some semblance of normalcy in their lives. Maybe they would even figure out how to relax with each other again, trust each other again. Love each other again. But this would always be between them – Maddie being gone. And she'd never stop blaming him, at least a little bit, for that. So now he could bring Maddie home, what Rayna wanted, and they could really try to fix all this.

He looked down at Maddie, still curled up against him, her breathing even and normal now. He flashed back to a time when she was about seven or eight. He was Rayna's bandleader then, riding on her bus, as he often did, so they could talk about tour details and such. The weather was stormy that night, as they were driving from one town to the next. Rayna was in her bedroom with Daphne and Maddie was scared. Back then, Maddie was afraid of lightning and thunder and she'd cowered in Deacon's arms, much like she was now. He hadn't known she was his then, of course, but it had felt comfortable having her curled up against him and putting his arm around her to soothe her. It felt like that now and he breathed in sharply.

Maddie sat back then and looked at him. "I'm so sorry, Dad. About everything," she started.

He frowned a little and shook his head. "We can talk about that later," he said. "Let's just get you to your mama." They _would_ need to talk about it, would need to figure out how to heal from it, but it could wait. At least she'd come willingly – it had been her choice – and that would help them figure out where they would go from here.

 _ **~nashville~**_

Rayna hugged Maddie one last time, holding her tightly and feeling the tears in her eyes yet again. She stepped back and took Maddie's hands in hers, smiling. "I'm so glad you're back," she said.

Maddie nodded and smiled a little back at her. "I know we have a lot to talk about," she said.

Rayna squeezed her hands. "We'll figure it all out when we get back to Nashville," she said. She glanced over at Daphne, who sat on the end of one of the beds in her room. Her youngest daughter had not stopped smiling since Maddie had appeared, with Deacon, at the arena, as they'd come off the stage. Daphne had begged her sister to stay in her room, a request Maddie had accepted without hesitation. "The two of you get some sleep, okay?" She smiled at both her daughters. "We need to leave for the airport about nine."

She left the two of them and headed across the hall to her room. She stopped outside the door, thinking about that moment she'd first seen Maddie with Deacon. She'd been furious for a brief second, when Bucky told her he had left, but then she'd put it out of her head. He just wasn't ever going to change. She didn't know why she thought he would and she'd felt the wall rise up around her and Daphne as they headed for the stage.

She'd prepared herself for the worst, thinking that everything they'd talked about in therapy had fallen on deaf ears. He just couldn't help himself. He couldn't stop that cycle.

But now she knew why he'd done it. And the realization had washed over her that he was always going to be impulsive, would always act with his heart, and that was actually one of the things she loved about him. He had wanted to rescue Maddie – for _her_ – and he'd done that. He'd brought their daughter home and he saved them. Because he led with his heart.

She leaned against the wall just outside the door. Things had been so tense between the two of them, since that night he'd gone to the Beverly and fought with Frankie. And even when he'd come back home, they'd struggled to connect to each other the way they always had. She'd blamed him for losing Maddie, she knew that. She also knew he hadn't been wrong when he'd said she was already lost. But she had not wanted to hear that, had pushed that out of her mind, so focused was she on how they couldn't seem to get out of the cycle they'd always found themselves in.

Therapy had forced them to focus on the patterns they seemed to perpetuate. The way she continued to see Deacon as the man he'd been when he was drinking. She'd feel betrayed by his actions, helpless as he acted out in destructive ways, watching him walk away instead of facing what was in front of him, but forgiving him in the end, even when it made her sick to her stomach to do it. That last piece – forgiveness – was what she hadn't been able to get to this time. She loved him, but she'd been stuck in that pit of unforgiveness.

Even though they'd managed to start to piece their lives back together, it had felt almost superficial. They couldn't really talk about the one thing that mattered more than anything – moving on without Maddie. Could they survive all of that and find their way out on the other side? Could she find the way to forgiveness and could he find a way to break his patterns, or at least channel them more effectively?

She felt a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes. They'd gone through trying times over and over and over again in their lives together and this had felt like the worst of it. This time, though, he'd come through. He'd done things right and he'd brought their daughter home. Yes, there would still be a lot to work through, for all of them, but at least now they could do that.

She turned and slid her key card into the door. When it clicked, she opened it. Deacon was sitting on the couch, his back to the door, but he turned to look at her as she entered the room. His eyes were filled with questions and she walked over and sat next to him, dropping the key card on the table.

"They good?" he asked.

She nodded. She reached for his hands, holding them tightly in her own. "I know we have a lot to work through when we get back to Nashville," she said. She looked deeply into his eyes, searching for how he was feeling in that moment. "I _do_ need you," she whispered. "No matter what we've been through, no matter what we go through in the future, I don't want to do it without you. You're my heart, Deacon, you're my soul."

He took a deep breath. "I don't wanna cause you any more pain, baby," he started.

She shook her head. "You know what? You probably still will, because that's just who you are. And it won't be because you want to but because you're passionate and you care and you're just gonna do what you need to do." She smiled a little. "I think I've spent too many years building walls around my feelings and not letting myself get passionate about anything and I don't want to do that anymore. I want to feel it all and, if it gets messy sometimes, that's okay. Because we're doing it together."

He reached his hand up and laid it on her cheek and bit down on his lip. Then he leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. She slid her hands up and around his neck, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss, until she couldn't wait any longer. She let go of him and stood up. He looked up at her, then took her hand, and stood up next to her.

She led him to the bed and then turned back to him, focusing her attention on unbuttoning his shirt. As she pushed back the shirt, she looked up and into his eyes, and saw the same desire she felt reflected there. An involuntary moan escaped her lips as he slid her top up. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers as he tossed the blouse on the floor. Then everything happened in a rush, as they undressed each other and then crawled into the bed, hands touching everywhere, lips sliding over skin, fingers finding those secret places again. She moaned his name and he whispered hers as they found their way back to each other at last.


End file.
